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Deepwaters
03-26-2007, 10:27 PM
This is the poem that broke my block and let me write again, the first I've written in four years.

The Wind and the Lily
(pour Alizée avec reconnaissance)

The wind rose over the sea, a quiet wind at first,
Gently whipping sea-water into salt meringue,
And blessing dolphin snouts with laughing kisses.
But it gained breath with each bubble burst, each dolphin spout,
Until by the time it reached the island
It could break proud waves against the stubborn rocks
And bend wise old trees to kiss the earth.
Upon those rocks a lily grew, tasting the hard ground,
Laughing at the sun, bathing in sea spray
Given her by the wind's little cousins, who whispered:

"She comes for you, she comes to take you with her,
Far from these stones, to carry you away, root and blossom,
Into the storms of the air, and over the wide lands.
People will stand transfixed by your beauty, a flower on the wind,
And love you, open their mouths to kiss you, and so open them
To the wind, who will blow through their flesh into their souls,
Fanning embers into bonfires. In that mighty heat,
Will you not burn? Can you ride that wind and not be torn?"

But a flower cannot understand the wind's tongue,
Only listen in joy to the music of its voice.
And so the great wind found her eager for flight,
Took her from the rocks, and lifted her, root and blossom,
Into the storms of the air, across the sea to the wide lands.
There many people saw the lily flying
On that unseen, mighty wind, and knew
Only the flower, dancing in the air. Wondering, they said,
"How does this lily fly? What magic makes her soar?"
And, all unknowing, opened to the lily's love
And lost themselves to the wind, their souls kindling
In a fire of passion, not understood, nor controlled,
In love with the lily, ablaze in the wind.

I thought I was in a sheltered place,
Protected in my wizard's robe, braced by my staff of will.
The flecks of gray in my dark hair, the sadness
Hiding behind the laughter in my eyes, both say
I have seen many a lily come and go,
And am no longer dazzled or dismayed
By the beauty of a flower. But I forgot the wind,
And found myself no proof against its strength.
I felt that wind, and knew it for itself – It did not
Catch me unawares, and yet for naught
I set myself to stand, firm of foot,
And hold against the storm. Knowing, yet I opened
To the lily's love, and the wind took me,
Stepping with eyes open from the cliff
Just like the Fool. I am afire,
And cannot know how long I have to burn.

The lily, meanwhile, found at last the ground,
Rooted in new soil, sheltered for a time
From the wind, that waited while the lily grew.
But always the wind's voice whispered,
Calling, calling, and the lily knew that, soon or late,
She would give up the earth once more
To soar upon the storms of the air
And over the wide lands, opening new hearts
To the burning of the wind. For the lily is the wind's,
And the wind is the lily's, and the fierceness of her love,
Greedy with desire, shuns the nurturing earth,
Forbidding the lily a flower's life,
Until the wind has blown its course.

Krey317
03-26-2007, 10:35 PM
bottom line: really really good. keep on writing poetry my friend. you have a knack

rwd716
03-26-2007, 10:37 PM
Awesome!!!

Zack -Alizee Lover-
03-26-2007, 10:44 PM
Great, just great ;) :D i really hope you do more peoms and that goes for the other members :p

lefty12357
03-26-2007, 11:18 PM
Great job, Deepwaters! I really like your poem. I hope you will share more of your work with us.

Deepwaters
03-26-2007, 11:21 PM
Thank you everyone. My writing is mostly focused on my novel at this point, but I may be moved to poetry again from time to time.

I wasn't sure what to do with that one but finally decided it belonged here.

CFHollister
03-27-2007, 12:19 AM
Impressive :blink:
You're right; it belonged here.
Excellent :blink:

painbringer
03-27-2007, 12:55 AM
Thank you everyone. My writing is mostly focused on my novel at this point, but I may be moved to poetry again from time to time.

I wasn't sure what to do with that one but finally decided it belonged here.

What do I do to over come writers block??? Or maybe Im just LAZYYYY!!!!!!!!!!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Uméesha
03-27-2007, 04:38 AM
hey nice peom man! deep water i like it, it's amazing hooooo.
nice nice submit more poem's.

rcs
03-27-2007, 09:57 AM
Deepwater,

You are great. The only way I can see you having writer's block would be because of watching Alizee videos...:p

Deepwaters
03-27-2007, 10:13 AM
Deepwater,

You are great. The only way I can see you having writer's block would be because of watching Alizee videos...:p

That's what broke the block. What caused it was a woman who broke my heart. What cured it was another woman who healed my heart, without even knowing me! Amazing.

NYMedStudent
03-27-2007, 10:37 AM
I really liked the first three stanzas. You should have stopped there? Seems like the poem starts to become about you there and not the lily.

Deepwaters
03-27-2007, 10:48 AM
It's about me and the lily; the fifth stanza returns to her. All poetry is personal.

Edit: I can certainly understand that you'd be more into the lily, though. She's much prettier than I am. :)

Edcognito
03-29-2007, 12:31 AM
Yeah.

What you said.

Great.

I just wish i was better with words, because that was beautiful, or should i say that was "Lili"?.......:wub:


Ed

I <3 Zombies
03-29-2007, 06:27 AM
That was uber... really really uber

SupaKrupa
03-29-2007, 07:52 AM
Oh, I thought I already told you how awesome that was. Must've been a dream! <-- Now that really shows how awesome it is if I'm dreaming it! :D

On a more serious note, I love how it connotates all aspects of Lili. The last stanza is rather optomistic to me :D

Brilliantly written. Love it all.

BlancZulu
03-29-2007, 09:05 AM
The Ponderings of a Changed Fan

When you were far away
and our souls hard to change,
you left the words inside our haerts,
the phantom whisper that bound and broke us...
You blew away the walls of tear and ash -
and everything changed

Even if the memories are left
under a milepost on my road:
the pictures in my haert
will always be coloured by you!

But untill my road ends
and your footprints are drowned
by the crying clouds above
I will wait on your return.
For you are the blood coursing my veins,
the wind dancing with my soul,
the tear running down my cheek...

Thanks to the Trade Wind

It is really hard to write in a langauge other than one's own! I think i'll start reading dictionaries from now on;)

Deepwaters
03-29-2007, 10:20 AM
It is really hard to write in a langauge other than one's own!

Well, that was a pretty good shot at it!

Hey, maybe we can turn this thread into a "post your poem" thing.

Deepwaters
03-29-2007, 01:11 PM
On a more serious note, I love how it connotates all aspects of Lili. The last stanza is rather optomistic to me :D


Hee hee. From a fans' POV, yeah, it is. Means she's coming back to us.

What I was doing with the whole thing was touching on what I've sensed in Alizée, something bigger than just the on-paper details. Playing on the name and nickname, of course; Lili the person living her life within the context of Alizée the phenomenon, how difficult that must be. The fourth stanza, where I went first-person, deals with the fact that, if I just deal with the on-paper details, this is not like me. I'm not fan material. I don't do this. I do know why it's happening, but it's more than just the music or the performance or anything immediately visible. There's a power in her, something perhaps more benign than I made the "wind" in the poem, but just as overwhelming.


Brilliantly written. Love it all.

Thank you very much. I really do feel as if I've come back from the dead. Nice to hear that Lazarus still breathes. ;)

Deepwaters
04-03-2007, 11:22 AM
Current Events
(An almost-sonnet)

I wake up, yet again, at half-past one:
It's dark here, but through you I see the sun.
A game of hide-and-seek, the prize a song.
You hid it with great skill, but not for long.

I found it while you slept – but felt ashamed,
It was for a surprise, I spoiled the game.
It's been a whole year since you promised, "soon,"
And still it seems as distant as the moon,

But keep the secrets, I will seek no more,
And nurse my patience on this distant shore.
I owe the mind that healed me nothing less,
And it's a small request, this I confess.

All well: and yet I ponder this strange thing.
Why is it that I cannot hear you sing?

Edcognito
04-03-2007, 11:27 AM
Current Events
(An almost-sonnet)

I wake up, yet again, at half-past one:
It's dark here, but through you I see the sun.
A game of hide-and-seek, the prize a song.
You hid it with great skill, but not for long.

I found it while you slept – but felt ashamed,
It was for a surprise, I spoiled the game.
It's been a whole year since you promised, "soon,"
And still it seems as distant as the moon,

But keep the secrets, I will seek no more,
And nurse my patience on this distant shore.
I owe the mind that healed me nothing less,
And it's a small request, this I confess.

All well: and yet I ponder this strange thing.
Why is it that I cannot hear you sing?


"on this distant shore . . . " yeah, good stuff man -

Ed:)

atra201
04-04-2007, 05:12 AM
they are all so amazazazing

Matrix
04-04-2007, 05:36 AM
I'm Alizee here me roar
My fans are too many to ignore
And I know too much to go back to the way it was before
Cause I've heard fans asking for more
And I've been dancing on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Chorus--
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, Ive paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I'm Alizee

You can bend me but never break me
Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
For my next album is even longer
Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS--
Oh yes I heard your cries
Your devotion has not been in vain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
You've been faithful, we can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I'm Alizee

aditya8617
04-04-2007, 10:03 AM
All of the Artists, poets should be banned!:mad: They make me feel really stupid with all their amazing talents and work!

Deepwaters
04-06-2007, 08:58 PM
Slept through the night for 3 nights straight now.

Merci. (To whomever that's appropriate.) :cool:

garçoncanadien
04-06-2007, 09:08 PM
il n'y a pas de quoi Deepwaters ;)

hey deepwaters plz tell me what u think about what i wrote

good and bad i want to know both :D yes i am recupereted from the "many sorrys" thread so i can hear them both with a clear mind ahehehe. helps me improve my writings.

<TABLE><TD>

Comme le vent

L’Alizé m’a emporté
Tout au fond des nuages et des vagues
L’Alizé m’a fait brûlé
Tout au bout du ciel et des étoiles

Avec tout ça je me suis noyé dans le chagrin
Et toi, tu sais pas comment j’ai souffert
Comme les racines d’un bois, j’ai ouvert

La route à un nouveau rayon de lumière
La route à une nouvelle mode de vie
C’est avec l’Alizé que je pouvais croire
C’est avec l’Alizé que je pouvais croire
Qu’à la lueur d’une flamme il y a encore d’espoir
Qu’à la lueur d’une femme je peux encore y voir

Les oiseaux s’envolent et les dauphins se surgissent
Puisque là-haut, y’a une voix qui leur dit
Y’a une seule chose qui peut te relâcher
Y’a une seule force qui peut te donner

Ce que tu cherches, c’est le souffle du vent
Ce que tu cherches, c’est bien l’esprit sans bornes
C’est avec moi que tu peux t’élever à

La route à un nouveau rayon de lumière
La route à une nouvelle mode de vie
C’est avec l’Alizé que je pouvais croire
C’est avec l’Alizé que je pouvais croire
Qu’à la lueur d’une flamme il y a encore d’espoir
Qu’à la lueur d’une femme je peux encore y voir

</TD><TD>

Like the wind

The tradewind took me
To the bottom of the clouds and the waves
The tradewind burned me
To the top of the sky and the stars

With all this I drowned in sadness
And you, you don’t know how I suffered
Like the roots of a tree, I opened

The route to a new ray of light
The route to a new way of life
It’s with the tradewind that I had believed
It’s with the tradewind that I had believed
That under the glimmer of a flame there’s still hope
That under the glimmer of a lady I can still see

The birds flying and the dolphins surging forth
Because up there, there is a voice that tells them
There is only one thing that can release you
There is only force that can give you

What you’re looking for, is the breath of the wind
What you are looking for, is actually a boundless soul
It’s with me that you can fly to

The route to a new ray of light
The route to a new way of life
It’s with the tradewind that I had believed
It’s with the tradewind that I had believed
That under the glimmer of a flame there’s still hope
That under the glimmer of a lady I can still see

</TD></TABLE>

i humbly present my next offering to our dearest tinkerbell. i write in French, then translate it for all those who would like a translation.

<TABLE><TD>

L’Alizé s’y arrivait

Le ciel grisâtre semblait si sombre
Et même les visages, on ne les voyait plus
Les foules, elles étaient comme la mer
La mer, si impersonnelle et cassant

Y’avait pas de la joie, de la vraie jolie joie
Il pleuvait toujours mais j’avais tellement soif
Soif de quoi, j’y savais pas à ce temps-là
Mais en fait j’ai su de ce dont il me faudra

Mon âme avait faim d’une vraie jolie voix
Mon âme avait faim des montagnes et des bois
Mon âme avait faim d’un vrai souffle du vent
Un Vent, un Alizé, qui te baisent en passant

Et quand le vent s’est arrivé, le ciel se séparait
Et la pluie elle-même a cessé de me blesser
Et c’est comme ça que l’Alizé me faisait sourire
Et c’est comme ça que l’Alizé me rendrait mon vrai cœur

Mon âme avait faim d’une vraie jolie voix
Mon âme avait faim des montagnes et des bois
Mon âme avait faim d’un vrai souffle du vent
Un Vent, un Alizé, qui te baisent en passant

</TD><TD>

The tradewind arrived there

The gray sky seemed so somber
And even the faces, we didn’t see them any more
The crowds, they were like the sea
The sea, so impersonal and harsh

There wasn’t any joy, some real beautiful joy
It rained always but I was always thirsty
Thirsty for what, I didn’t know it then
But in fact, I know what I really needed

My soul hungered for a true beautiful voice
My soul hungered for the mountains and the trees
My soul hungered for a real gust of wind
A wind, a tradewind, which kissed you in passing

And when the wind came, the sky parted
And even the rain stopped injuring me
And it’s like that the tradewind smiled upon me
And it’s like that the the tradewind returned my real heart back to me

My soul hungered for a true beautiful voice
My soul hungered for the mountains and the trees
My soul hungered for a real gust of wind
A wind, a tradewind, which kissed you in passing

</TD></TABLE>

Zack -Alizee Lover-
04-07-2007, 01:56 AM
It so good garco!
It makes me listen to L'Alize :p
as a matter of fact if u read it while ur listening to L'Alize, lets just say its a great combination ;)

Luc
04-07-2007, 06:05 PM
I like your writings garçoncanadien. Unfortunately I can't help you to further improve them as I don't have any artistic talent :(

Edcognito
04-07-2007, 10:01 PM
Garcon,

Well done.

I'm not NEARLY well versed enough to critique someone elses work - all i can say is thankyou. :o

I don't think i've read this much poetry since 8th grade! :eek:



Ed

lefty12357
04-07-2007, 10:16 PM
Great job, Garçon ! "A wind, a tradewind, which kissed you in passing" Very nice.