Return of the Wind

[Deepwaters]

This will be a two-part poem. Part I is below. Part II will wait until Alizée's new single is released. ;)

Return of the Wind (Part I)

Beneath the trees, sand piled in rounds at the edge of a pond,
Leaves nestled still and secure, rotting at their hidden sides,
The water lay perfect, glassy-smooth; one would have thought a stone
Would bounce, not skip, upon that bright, hard, blemishless expanse,
But for the languid burp of bubbles above a grumpy croaking frog,
That waited for some grace, who could tell what, or how?
<O:p
Lovers walked beneath those trees, fingers entwined,
Only from habit, hair glued to their faces by sweat,
Eyes to the ground before their feet by ennui.
Not the least breeze stirred leaf or sand or hair,
Nor any breath of passion any heart.
Had the wind died?
Had we forgotten?
Had the fire died?
Or held we still the embers,
Banked against the day the wind returned?
<O:p
It is quiet without the wind. Safe, as death is safe,
Or a heart empty of love that cannot break, or embers buried
Beyond the reach of anything to burn. Each hair in place,
Clothing demure of wrinkle or dust, we amble reassured,
If purposeless, save for a few, mad-eyed and shorn of sense,
Who howl by the waterside a hymn to the returning storm.
<O:p
What is this song those ragged prophets chant? What dream
Has scourged their placid brains to such mad trains of thought?
Do they – could they, cry for the shattering of calm perfection,
Cry in magic tongues of summoning across the lazy shore,
Hoarse incantations ripping through the calm?
Is their call heard?
Do you hear song?
Is that a whisper?
Is it just the frog complaining,
Or thunder of the drums heard through the skin?

[nurvonic]

hmm interesting. good job!

[thats amazazazing]

ahahahaaha

[Deepwaters]

ahahahaaha

I think I just found that frog. :rolleyes:

[espire]

Until you make up a tune to that, I'm not one for poetry.

[Fusoya]

Impressive!
How long did it take to write it?

[espire]

Until you make up a tune to that, I'm not one for poetry.

But I realize that that probably sounded quite mean :eek:

I'll rephrase that: After reading a little bit of it, even though I'm not one poetry, I realize that we need a tune for it right away!

[Deepwaters]

LOL thanks Espire but I can't think how it would scan for song lyrics.

I wrote it over two days. I guess the first draft took me about three hours, then I spent another couple of hours the next day going over it and tweaking.

[Uméesha]

deep waters really this is amazing.... i thought you were gone deep thinking while writing this "return of the wind"! as we go deep deep deeper into the sea.... we can find many fishes, corals, scenary ect... with all the good things inside the sea like wise your writing say's a beautiful thoughts to me really great... i like it.... i like it.... i like the people writings.....

[fsquared]

Actually, I wonder if a quiet acoustic guitar folk melody could work, with a little reduplication at

"Had the wind died?...etc" as a chorus. Thoughts?

[Joey_adore_Jung]

i thought it was beautiful deepwaters, something great from an intelligent mind.

[Drake498]

I agree with everyone thats already posted, its majestic and magnificent, if you have any more please post :D

[Deepwaters]

I agree with everyone thats already posted, its majestic and magnificent, if you have any more please post :D

Thanks, everyone. I don't have any more right now, Part II of this poem will be posted after Alizée's new single is released. But as I type this, I've got Chapter 10 of my novel (10 of 11) up in Word and am working on that. I expect to get the first draft finished within the next week or so, and then spend another month maybe going back and revising certain parts that I think need it. If all that stays on track, I'll be looking for an agent by the first of August.

So that has to be my top writing priority. But every once in a while I get inspired to write poetry, and when the poem involves Alizée I'll share it here.

[Edcognito]

for the return of the wind . . .

A specific wind...

I like it DW - gave me a couple goosebumps that did, and i'm not normally one to be all that interested in poetry . . . .

Ed:cool:

[Deepwaters]

Wow, Ed, that's high praise indeed! Thanks!

Well, I finished Chapter 10 tonight. One more to go and the rough draft is done. Now my feeling is, damn it, if I can do it -- finish a big creative project, that is -- Alizée can do it.

So of course by the time I'm finished with the last chapter, which should be maybe another week, she'll be ready to release that single, right? Right?

OK. In that case, I'll be prepared to post Part II of this poem about then, too. ;)

[painbringer]

deeps... i didnt read it but im sure it was good.

[painbringer]

Thanks, everyone. I don't have any more right now, Part II of this poem will be posted after Alizée's new single is released. But as I type this, I've got Chapter 10 of my novel (10 of 11) up in Word and am working on that. I expect to get the first draft finished within the next week or so, and then spend another month maybe going back and revising certain parts that I think need it. If all that stays on track, I'll be looking for an agent by the first of August.

So that has to be my top writing priority. But every once in a while I get inspired to write poetry, and when the poem involves Alizée I'll share it here.

cool congratz dude.

im a writer too.... but IM SOOO DAMN LAZY. I got 60 pages done on my screenplay and its been 2 years LOL. how do you get motivated? i know that if i just sit my ass down on and open up the screenwriting software , ill get at least 3-4 pages done... but GOD DAMN IT MEEE SOOO LAZYYY ASS

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Deepwaters]

Well, I have no idea if what I do would work for you, but --

I open up whatever I'm working on in Word. Then I also open up something else, quite frequently this site and/or some other boards I like to post on. I'll put some music on my headphones. Used to be always instrumentals, but now I find I'm playing a lot of Lili's music -- somehow the French lyrics don't keep me from writing English.

I have an idea of where I want the story to go beforehand, so I'll put some stuff down, then when I hit a snag and need to think, I'll switch over to one of the sites and check out what's going on. If I really hit a snag or just feel like it, I'll stop and go outside for a run or maybe a long walk, or some other kind of physical workout, maybe with weights. (Wish I had a pool handy, I miss that.)

One thing I've found is that you can't force it. At least not with fiction. But if I have it open and available, I'll tend to do it.