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user472884 10-06-2009 02:04 PM

Alizée Facts
 
If you've ever seen Chuck Norris facts, you know what Alizée facts are.

I don't know a whole bunch so I'm hoping you all will contribute:p

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Alizée causes Keanu Reeves to smile once in a while.

Corsica was built to contain Alizée because her awesomeness was simply too powerful and dangerous to be in the mainland.

The Euro was adopted in France because they had no more Francs! They had all been given to Alizée.

Chuck Norris and Alizée have to be on other sides of the planet because if that much awesomeness gets too close the universe will explode.

If Alizée has five euros, and you have five euros, Alizée has more money.

Alizée can order sushi at an Olive Garden, and get it.

All pictures of Alizée are toned down by ten thousand percent, because Alizée's beauty overloads all cameras.

When taking a picture of Alizée's glowing awesomeness, you have to use an ISO of 2 (photography joke)

Alizée doesn't do her hair, she sings and little woodland critters come in and style it for her.

The little red paper fish on Alizée's bum absorbed a little of her sweat, got zapped by a bit of static electricity, and later graduated first his class in Harvard and discovered infinite energy and the cure for all diseases.

Alizée can slam a revolving door if she is angered.

Alizée got to level 17 prestige in CoD5.

Alizée has all your base.

Alizée is not allowed near any aquariums.

If Alizée were a flavor of gum, she would last forever.

---

they're lame I know, but I'm really sick/bored

Karlalizee 10-06-2009 02:37 PM

one morning alizee smiled so brightly that life formed on the earth. today we call that smile the 'sun'.

alizee was at the manger during the birth of Christ. she gave Him the gift of song. Christ so loved this gift that He carried it with Him for the rest of His life. the three wise men were so jealous that they bribed the apostles not to include her. chuck norris read about this and went back in time and, later that same day, all three wise men were mysteriously killed by a round house kick to the head.

alizee vs green bay packers: alizee wins by a touchdown, in overtime.

how do you know if alizee was in your refrigerator? you can see her footprints in the butter.

how many alizee's does it take to screw in a light bulb? none. the guys at alizee america will be more than happy to do it for her.

Future Raptor Ace 10-06-2009 03:56 PM

Alizee wouldve shot down a German Fighter Plane if she was able to point her finger in the air and say........ bang; too bad her country surrendered before she could do it :D:p;)

Criss_pl 10-06-2009 04:35 PM

........And many more you can read on Uncyclopedia, where you can add also those.
Thanks for improving my mood:)
Anything related to Alizée make me smile.

BlackAnthem 10-06-2009 04:39 PM

Alizee is the reason the pile of Gieco money is watching.

God is a contact on Alizee's phone.

Alizee is a cure for depression, and HIGHLY addictive.

Tickets to go to France: $180. Alizee concert tickets: $200. Backstage passes: $130. Alizee: Priceless

user472884 10-06-2009 05:06 PM

People who fight to be on Alizée's top friends spot on her myspace:
- Leonardo Da Vinci
- God
- God's cousin Kevin
- Walt Disney
- Me
- Chuck Norris
- Napoleon

Nothing exists, everything is a figment of Hurley's imagination, who is a figment of Alizée's imagination.

Alizée: Better for you than green tea since '84

Conficker was developed in order to set Alizée as the desktop on every computer in the world.

The Y2K scare was really the world freaking out about whether or not there are enough copies of Gourmandises for everybody.

The martial art "Chuck-Will-Kill" is loosely based on a weaker version of "Lilly-fu"

Apple created the iPod because carrying around three albums and all the singles seemed inefficient for Lilly-Time

Goals of every living organism: 1. Meet Alizée, 2. Survive

Chuck Norris moved to France to study ass-kickery with Alizée. He studied her signature move, but could never come close to doing it correctly. He came back to the states and roughly translated this move as the "round-house kick"

Karlalizee 10-07-2009 10:09 AM

how do you know if alizee is at the movies? the actors on the screen keep stopping to admire her. :wub:

Pjoo 10-07-2009 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jalen (Post 141788)
People who fight to be on Alizée's top friends spot on her myspace:
- Leonardo Da Vinci
- God
- God's cousin Kevin
- Walt Disney
- Me
- You
- Chuck Norris
- Napoleon"

Fixed it.

Also:
Alizée cures cancer, genetic disorders and death.

Psychopaths have been shown to feel empathy for Alizée.

Thanks to Alizée, the french have now a chance of winning against Luxembourg if they happen to try to invade France.

Alizée is the main threat to secularism.

Alizée has reduced ammount of strikes in France by 0.2%, which has tripled the GNP.

Oh, and Chuck Norris is an idiot.

user472884 10-07-2009 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pjoo (Post 141853)
Oh, and Chuck Norris is an almighty deity that could roundhouse kick you so hard your entire existence and all memory of you would be erased from history

fixed it :)

Pjoo 10-08-2009 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jalen (Post 141866)
fixed it :)

Then why is it all allmigthy deities have problem with pretty much everything rational?


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