When I hit 4,000 im gone
I have wanted to leave for a while now but the only thing keeping me is my love for some of the members I have spent the years with here and grown to know. With 5.5 years on this forum I have changed a lot as with my interests. Years ago like many of you currently I my life and heart had a huge spot for Alizee in it. Unfortunately that changed as I grew older. Further fueling the fire is the music she sings appears as well as her character growth has steered away from the Alizee I have grown to love. The Alizee I was a fan of is the Alizee of past that probably won’t come again. I find myself no longer interest in her current music as well as growing weary of the old songs I used to love so much.
I have been fighting to stay on these forums, trying to stay current with Alizee news but I feel like I am fighting with myself. I find myself asking “why am I doing this, what am I trying to learn and accomplish” as for I am clearly not interested. I have started to realize this is because I have a trouble letting go and saying good bye. I realize with my ultimate resignation of this forum my Alizee “fandom” officially completely ends turning another chapter on my life. With this new chapter it seems one of the last remaining remnants of my adolescence ends too.
Now I know some may ask why leave if it pains you to do so? The reason for that is it also pains me a little bit to be here. Like I said before I feel like I am fighting with myself to stay on these forums when I do not want to and it is making me unhappy. My posts have taken a severe downward spiral in quality and I feel the only in depth posts I can offer are in the off topic discussions in which feels so static. To that thought I feel the whole board has went static but when I stop and think about this more I find that this statement is not true. This board has never changed, though is follows the same formula in cycles of new and old members it is a definitely very dynamic and diverse. It is me, who has turned static … or is divergent a better word? It is me who has grown bored of something that used to be near the pinnacle of my interests. It seems almost everything that defined me as a person when I first joined this forum at 17 has gone and or changed. Not to get into details but my political, views, my life goal, my life philosophy, and even my whole being have all changed.
It is for these reasons that I have decided to leave for good; say good bye to everyone and leave for good. I know will be hated by some, possibly (and I hope) loved by others; but I hope in these 5 and half years you remember me as a strong opinionated member who loved great discussion and debate. I hope those who watched me grow from when I first joined are satisfied with who I am and the person I became and the growth of my personality.
The reason why I am not leaving right now after this post is I need a little more time to fully say goodbye. I want to uses these last few months to take in everything before I go. I figure I am so close to 4,000 posts in which will be a milestone for me, why not complete the final mile while enjoying the scenery. Now I know to some this may seem spontaneous, to those members who are really close to me and really know me you know this has been a long time coming. To those who witnessed and saw how my posts have been as of the last year should also not be too surprised.
I write this with a heavy heart and I will miss a lot of you; I wish you all the best in life and hope Alizee is and stays everything you want her to be and more. I hope she continues to inspire you and allow you to vibe in her sweet melodies. It is with this that I give my formal goodbyes, now all that is left to do is post 87 more times and I can be on my way. This is really hard for me but it has to be done!~
Remember everyone, “dream always and all ways!”
Sincerely;
FRA - Mike
http://youtu.be/WM7-PYtXtJM