Weird Stories Thread

[Marshal Davout]

I was in our Air Force; graduated Basic, and was shipped off to Tech School to learn Aircraft Maintenance. We used to get up a 6 AM in Basic; so I was sure that Tech School would be more reasonable. However our classes started at 6 AM; which meant that we had to march to the chow hall, eat Breakfast and then march to school in an aircraft hanger ! So we had to get up about 5 AM in Tech school ! Unfortunately I am the type of guy who doesn't wake up until 9 AM after I have had my Coffee ! So the instructors used to pass a note between them in all the sections that said ( "Marshal sleeps in Class ! " Ha ! ) So I would get all of the questions ! I developed the ability to sleep with my Eyes open, so it was hard for them to tell !
Anyway after our school ended at NOON, sometimes we would get extra duty. So it was I was detailed to the base printing office; where I was told to deliver the Base Newspaper to all of the Officers and Sergeants Houses on base.
[Being a young airman I never knew that Officers and Sergeants had "Base Housing" in regular houses on base together with their dependents ] . So I was given like 300 newspapers and told to put them in the newspaper holder in front of all the houses; once I was done I could just take off back to my barracks !
And so I blithely started off to deliver all the newspapers fast, so I could goof off back to the barracks ! All went well for the first 5 houses; but then all these cute girls started to answer the doors and invite me in for lemonade or iced tea ( this was September and so still somewhat hot ) but I had to tell them I cannot come in but must be about my business of paper delivery ! This became a game where all of the girls would call all of the other girls that a cute airman was delivering the paper and so the door of every house I went up to was opened by a cute girl !
All went well as I escaped all of the girls; except when I got to "Colonel Stormers" when his two blond nubile twin girls grabbed me by both arms and yanked me into the house ! You're going to have some Lemonade with us, they said ! This was dangerous territory as both girls looked like Blond Playboy Playmates !
I said I got to go, as I am on duty ! But they said no; you are drinking Lemonade and watching a movie with us on TV ! They asked me how old I was and I was 20 at the time; so only being 16 themselves they thought I was Prime marriage material ! They called some other girls to come over and so I was trapped by about 5 girls ! The Twins went upstairs to change into their Cheerleader uniforms to show me; while the other girls kept me tied up ! Marsha sat in my lap and said we could get married ! But I said I got to know a girl better before I marry her ! Then the twins ( "who did everything together") came downstairs and yanked Marsha off of my lap ! He's going to marry us, they said ( I don't know how I could marry twins, but that was what they thought ) ! And so a Cat Fight started between all of the girls over who I was going to marry !
In the middle of the fight I managed to escape out of their front door; but the twins chased me down the street saying, you've got to come back and take us to the Base Movies ! I said I would be back that weekend to do so, so they let me go.
But I had no intention of showing up to see "Colonel Stormer" and ask him if I could take both of his twin blond daughters to the base movies ! I didn't want to get court-martialed right at the beginning of my enlistment ! Ha !