This is so important I had to make a thread

[user472884]

FFFFFFFFFF TWO DAYS

I guess I'll just pass the time reading mah new 2012 IKEA catalogue

[user472884]

TODAY IS A GLORIOUS DAY, COMRADES



THE OPENING OF THE FIRST IKEA IN THIS GODFORSAKEN STATE, FINALLY A SLIVER OF MODERN CIVILIZATION HAS BREACHED THE PICKET RAMPARTS.

I've absolutely been LOVING explaining to everybody what IKEA is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some futons to sit on.

everybody, hands in.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR WHO DO WE APPRECIATE? INGVAR!

Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands.
We're going to IKEA and we've much to do.
We've got to get dressed and ride to that ol' yellow and blue.
They've got a rockin' show floor and a hi-tech playground
That'll watch yo' kids so you can walk around.
We got birch MALM shelves in the bedroom aisle,
That'll help your pad fit yo' hipster style
We got a POÄNG armchair for sixty-nine,
We got a desk listed under VIKA VEINE. (for the purposes of the song, pronounce as "vine")
We got KUSINER mesh bags, with lids for five,
Oh sweet lawd I feel so alive.
And just when you thought that you'd seen it all,
Here comes a Swedish midget eating a meatball.
So won't you come out, check out the floor?
Wonders await you at this amazing store.

BREAK

[Azhiri]

And today was also the first day of band camp. :'3

SURELY THIS 'TWAS AN IMPORTANT DAY IN BOTH OUR LIVES

[user472884]

Yes,

except IKEA is infinitely more important than running around in LOST tank tops and playing pentatonic scales.

[wasabi622]

Wow Jalen, never realized how much you obssessed over a simple European store chain.

See, if it was something like Costco, I'd understand, they give away free samples to eat. Ikea? What do they give out? Free pizza rolls and cookies? I don't think so!

[user472884]

Originally Posted by wasabi622

Wow Jalen, never realized how much you obssessed over a simple European store chain.

See, if it was something like Costco, I'd understand, they give away free samples to eat. Ikea? What do they give out? Free pizza rolls and cookies? I don't think so!

Actually I believe they give you free breakfast and free lunch/dinner on certain days and I think all holidays as well.

And all Costco is is a bunch of kirkland batteries and 24 packs of watermelons in terrible lighting and frankly is very cold.

IKEA on the other hand, it's one of the only places in the world where you can suspend belief and become another person in another abode. Your bedroom just a murphy bed and a black wire rack? Imagine, you're a hipster journalist living in a bedroom with a very angular birch bed with matching angular birch nightstand and dresser.

Feeling down as a hair stylist with a living room with a second-hand blue couch and a shitty tv? Just one step closer and suddenly you become a high-profile restaurant critic in an apartment with a very angular black couch with a matching angular black coffee table and a very angular 24" plasma and a very angular fake potted plant cascading down your very angular black wall unit.

Does life have you by the balls in your dead-end mechanic job at the worst car shop in town with nothing more than an old minifridge and microwave in your kitchen? So no more and now you're an astronaut football player with a very angular red kitchen with very red angular cabinets with satin-nickel hardware with very angular red chairs and a table with satin-nickel flatware and silverware with a designer rug handwoven by a man named Mög who wears black turtleneck sweaters exclusively.

[wasabi622]

Originally Posted by Jalen

Actually I believe they give you free breakfast and free lunch/dinner on certain days and I think all holidays as well.

And all Costco is is a bunch of kirkland batteries and 24 packs of watermelons in terrible lighting and frankly is very cold.

IKEA on the other hand, it's one of the only places in the world where you can suspend belief and become another person in another abode. Your bedroom just a murphy bed and a black wire rack? Imagine, you're a hipster journalist living in a bedroom with a very angular birch bed with matching angular birch nightstand and dresser.

Feeling down as a hair stylist with a living room with a second-hand blue couch and a shitty tv? Just one step closer and suddenly you become a high-profile restaurant critic in an apartment with a very angular black couch with a matching angular black coffee table and a very angular 24" plasma and a very angular fake potted plant cascading down your very angular black wall unit.

Does life have you by the balls in your dead-end mechanic job at the worst car shop in town with nothing more than an old minifridge and microwave in your kitchen? So no more and now you're an astronaut football player with a very angular red kitchen with very red angular cabinets with satin-nickel hardware with very angular red chairs and a table with satin-nickel flatware and silverware with a designer rug handwoven by a man named Mög who wears black turtleneck sweaters exclusively.

Wow, uh.. I see you're into, uh, role playing?

I also wasn't aware that you were such a furniture connoisseur. To me, a chair is a chair, a desk is a desk, and a bed is something mildly soft that I sleep on(though to be more exact, I sleep on a flattened futon, to be more exact.)

[user472884]

Originally Posted by wasabi622

Wow, uh.. I see you're into, uh, role playing?

I also wasn't aware that you were such a furniture connoisseur. To me, a chair is a chair, a desk is a desk, and a bed is something mildly soft that I sleep on(though to be more exact, I sleep on a flattened futon, to be more exact.)

I'm very anal about certain things, and one of them is having my furniture being very minimalistic and utilitarian while still looking sexy as hell (all those 90º angles get me all wiggly)

Seriously, how could you NOT want to pretend to have any of these awesome-looking bedrooms?

http://www.digsdigs.com/ikea-2010-be...sign-examples/

The only thing more I could ask for would be a lemon meringue pie dispenser and an attached balcony that looks over the Mediterranean Sea

[wasabi622]

Originally Posted by Jalen

I'm very anal about certain things, and one of them is having my furniture being very minimalistic and utilitarian while still looking sexy as hell (all those 90º angles get me all wiggly)

Seriously, how could you NOT want to pretend to have any of these awesome-looking bedrooms?

http://www.digsdigs.com/ikea-2010-be...sign-examples/

The only thing more I could ask for would be a lemon meringue pie dispenser and an attached balcony that looks over the Mediterranean Sea

See, I'm what you'd call a literal minimalist.

My dream bedroom would be a mattress on the floor, a wooden desk with a corkboard post above it, and a squishy chair to sit it.

I'd add a personal touch by putting up an Alizée poster though, or maybe the Army colors.

[user472884]

Thats how I was the first eight months in this state. I knew we were going to move again so I wanted to he ready to move at any time. Eight months with a mattress on the floor, and nothing else. I would still be doing it but... well... Please see my Facebook album of Arachnidius Kong