Loneliness

[Marka]

Post deleted*

[Scruffydog777]

I read your last post and I can relate to that too. As far as the bus, I know a lot of times people can sense a lack of confidence or shyness or what ever and tend to stay away from someone like that. That's why I say you should go out there and do something. Find something you enjoy doing. There are other things too that might or might not help you meeting someone else, but will make you feel much better about yourself such as doing volunteer work maybe with fatherless kids or abused animals. Maybe even sponsoring a kid in one of those third world countries. Look at those people who volunteer to help rescue and clean up wild life when there's an oil spill. Well maybe there are no oil spills in your neck of the woods, but I'm sure there are other types of disasters. Is there a red cross chapter in your area? Maybe someone comes up missing in your area and they might need people to help them search.

Things seem pretty unfair sometimes. I've always been shy and kept to myself and lacked self confidence around women. I remember one time I was in Chicago for some avionics training with two other aircraft mechanics from my home town. After class, we were at a bar having a few beers when somehow we had a nice looking young lady join us at our table. Well these two other guys were smooth talkers and were hitting on her and getting all her attention, until I pointed out the fact that they were both married, after which, I enjoyed a nice evening with this woman. But like I said, it's unfair, these guys already had a woman of there own, but yet they wanted to steal some more and they would have had a good evening with someone who was probably looking for a mate, until I pointed out the rest of the story.

It's easy for me to sit here and say for you to do something. It's much, much harder to actually do it. But like I said with the dance studio, that was an incredibly tough thing for me to do, yet I did it.

Take that first step to do something different. Maybe make it an easy step. If you can come in here and post, you can get on the internet and do all kinds of research. I know how tough it is. I've been through it. I'll discuss it some more in following posts if you care to.

[Fall]

Originally Posted by Merci Alizée

One day when were sitting at a mall, I noticed that I never looked directly into her eyes while talking. I was shocked, because then I realized I never noticed her earlier at all.

...

After this came J, who has put me in more difficult situation.

I'm just the opposite, it's really awkward for me to talk someone and not look them in the eye. Maybe if I'm trying to avoid a longer conversation. I'll have to try that out more often. Anyway, it sounds like you two got along well, and if she called you after months like that, she still wants to be your friend. The only advice I can offer is that you shouldn't let a good friend go. Everybody knows they're hard to come by

And if you don't mind, tell us more about J?

[Marka]

Originally Posted by Scruffydog777

Take that first step to do something different. Maybe make it an easy step. If you can come in here and post, you can get on the internet and do all kinds of research. I know how tough it is. I've been through it. I'll discuss it some more in following posts if you care to.

Thank you, I will follow your advice. Of course I would like to read more about what you have to say!

[VitaminAlizée333]

Loneliness is awesome if you can handle it, I been lonely for awhile the pain, stopped and I feel great.
" He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.-Aristotle
Which brings to another thing, that humans are a political animal by nature.

[CleverCowboy]

Originally Posted by VitaminAlizée333

Loneliness is awesome if you can handle it, I been lonely for awhile the pain, stopped and I feel great.
" He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.-Aristotle
Which brings to another thing, that humans are a political animal by nature.

I am comfortable in my own skin and I don't need to be with somebody all the time. I have worked from home since 1997, and pretty much every work day I am alone, and I love it! I have always been a lone wolf personality anyways.

Being social is overrated. Meeting new people is definitely overrated, especially at parties. I just go to them for the food and beer.

[VitaminAlizée333]

Originally Posted by CleverCowboy

I am comfortable in my own skin and I don't need to be with somebody all the time. I have worked from home since 1997, and pretty much every work day I am alone, and I love it! I have always been a lone wolf personality anyways.

Being social is overrated. Meeting new people is definitely overrated, especially at parties. I just go to them for the food and beer.

[Scruffydog777]

I'm a lone wolf too. That's just the way things developed since I was young. In my teenage years, we lived in a neighborhood of mostly retired people and only a few kids lived in my area. I knew two other teens my age who both I got along with in a great way, but they hated each other's guts so instead of trying to choose who to go to a movie with or a ball game with, I often went on my own.

The same thing happened when I was in the Army. There were two guys I got along great with but who hated each other, so I used to go off on my own for the same reason.

When I moved to where I am now about 19 years ago, my company hired several guys around the same time and I got along with some of these guys great but my company is open 7 days and we have to bid for what days off we get and the same is true for vacation. So though I got along good with some guys, we'd all have different days off and different weeks of vacation so those relationships never panned out.

So now I've been so used to being a loner, I prefer to be that way. When I go on vacation, if I'm driving, I can play what ever music I want to play (and you know what that is). I can set the temperature at what I want it to be. I can stop on a long road trip when ever I want or I can drive all night long.

Not too long ago, I spoke how I was going through physical rehab. I met two great guys who while I was there, I had some long conversations with and when I was nearing the end, I'm sure these guys wanted to stay in touch, but I really had no desire to, because forming a friendship like that calls for making some sacrifices and it's not that I wasn't willing to, it's just I was happy the way things were.

Now as far as female friends, that's a whole different thread.

[CleverCowboy]

Originally Posted by Scruffydog777

So now I've been so used to being a loner, I prefer to be that way. When I go on vacation, if I'm driving, I can play what ever music I want to play (and you know what that is). I can set the temperature at what I want it to be. I can stop on a long road trip when ever I want or I can drive all night long.

Not too long ago, I spoke how I was going through physical rehab. I met two great guys who while I was there, I had some long conversations with and when I was nearing the end, I'm sure these guys wanted to stay in touch, but I really had no desire to, because forming a friendship like that calls for making some sacrifices and it's not that I wasn't willing to, it's just I was happy the way things were.

Now as far as female friends, that's a whole different thread.

Building and maintaining close friendships take a lot of time - time that I do not have. Who has the time these days to maintain more than one or two good friends, if that? That is why I laugh at the people on FaceBook that have like 3000 so-called friends.

I am a natural introvert, so I don't even have the personality to make friends quickly. I do have my moments where I am very social, and normally it is in a situation where there is a gathering of people with a common interest. A good example is this site. I have a lot to say about Alizee and speak freely, and sometimes my posts are pretty long.

I like conversations, but small talk is pretty tough for me. Parties become harder and harder to attend. How are you? What do you do? How about that weather? Did you try the crab toast hors d'oeuvres? They are to die for!

I find myself getting along with women very well, probably because they are better conversationalists than men. When I was younger, I was intimidated being in the presence of a beautiful woman. Now, I don't care what they look like or how old they are, I just start chatting. They usually will engage in a conversation, even if they are much younger than I am. There was a thread here where they were discussing what they would say to Alizee if they had a chance to talk with her. Some guys were saying they wouldn't know what to say since they were from a different culture and would have nothing in common with Alizee. Are you kidding me? The differences would make perfect ice-breakers leading to great conversation. I would want to know all about her family and family history, Corsica, the kind of food she likes, etc.

All in all, I find myself avoiding getting too close. Just as you described your conversation with those two guys, when it comes time to parts ways, I don't expect anything more. I'm sure I come across as being stand-offish, but it's really nothing personal.