How can we welcome more women here & to Lili?

[Karlalizee]

i have read all of the pages in this thread and i would like to put in some observations and comments.

i came here because a college girl friend introduced me to alizee's music and this site. she warned me that there will be some that will not welcome me with open arms and she was right. i received the same type of welcome as she did by the select few. things like if i want to have sex with them, prove that i am a girl by posting a picture me holding a sign that says 'alizee america', asking me for my phone number, asking me if my breasts are real and so on. but these were from a small minority. by the way, the ones who give me the hardest time are not teenagers. the majority of the guys in here are complete gentlemen.

as to why women leave the site; i believe one reason is that they just simply moved on. i am in love with her music..period. i am not in love with her looks or personality. i do not adore every move she makes. but i think the biggest reason they leave is because they have to become one-of-the-guys. my girl friend gave me this advice: it is all about alizee and not you. as a whole, girls love to be adored or at least noticed. once a girl finds out they are in a losing battle by coming in here, they bolt.

so you see, it may be everything you guys do or nothing at all. as for myself, i just like to come by and see what you clowns are up to.

[VVVACCPLPNLY]

Glad to get your opinion, karla! For some reason, most guys here think you are the only girl here. I am still waiting on ladycameron's and miammiam's opinions, too. But I think you have a very good point. And don't worry, I believe you 100%! (Or do I? ) in fact, that is probably the most relevant post in this thread. Forget everythng said before now. Read karla's post, and you will never need another reason! Except, maybe whatever another girl would post...

[FanDeAliFee]

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

i have read all of the pages in this thread and i would like to put in some observations and comments.

Karla, thank you for spending so much time helping us on this. I will address what you write, but first I offer a personal warning.

Most of my life, in many ways I have been atypical of the people with whom I have found myself on account of necessity or common intellectual interest. But as long as my fellows were not crazy or malevolent, that always was fine with me, because I enjoy the independence of social solitude. On my late mother's side of the family, this inclination has been quite common among men and women both.

I don't know if I am unlike many people here, but if so, it wouldn't be my first such experience.

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

i came here because a college girl friend introduced me to alizee's music... i am in love with her music..period... i am not in love with her looks or personality. i do not adore every move she makes.

In contrast. I find many things about Alizée charming. Among them are things she and I have in common despite manifest differences in age, gender and nationality. Never before have I been deeply interested in any entertainer of any description. And because of the need to keep my ears free to listen, I've heard almost no music during your short lifespan. Prior to that, my main musical consumption was instrumental concert music, not pop. I basically stopped listening to pop with the close of the 1980s. And that's another reason I like Alizée: she enjoys my "80s oldies" like Madonna, Blondie, etc.

Out of curiosity, what about Alizée's music do you like? The most unique thing, as for all singers, would be her voice. But do you also like some or all of her choice of subjects, melodies, rhythms, and artistic collaborators? Do the music or concert videos matter at all to you as an "operatic" supplement to the audio?

The thing which first drew me to Alizée's work was her infectiously happy performances, including solitary and group dance, because I needed cheering up. Much of my life has been very sad and watching Alizée let me forget for a little while the life I have lived.

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

i received the same type of welcome as [] did by the select few. things like if i want to have sex with them... the ones who give me the hardest time are not teenagers... the majority of the guys in here are complete gentlemen.

Over my life, I have also been approached by the opposite sex, both online and offline. If one is not interested, a kind way to reject someone is to be friendly but passionless. I don't know if that advice is of any help to you.

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

as to why women leave the site... i think the biggest reason they leave is because they have to become one-of-the-guys... as a whole, girls love to be adored or at least noticed.

Personally, I did not come here to meet women per se, but to communicate with others sharing my interest in Alizée. What someone has to write, compose, draw, edit or whatever means the same to me whatever someone's personal description.

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

so you see, it may be everything you guys do or nothing at all. as for myself, i just like to come by and see what you clowns are up to.

I hope at least that we are amusing. Personally, I fancy humor, especially puns, and don't mind getting a laugh for my efforts.

I still hope to hear what other women here think, but so far, CFH's theory still seems to be
carrying the most water for me.

Thanks again, Karla!

[ALS]

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

things like if i want to have sex with them, prove that i am a girl by posting a picture me holding a sign that says 'alizee america', asking me for my phone number, asking me if my breasts are real and so on. but these were from a small minority. by the way, the ones who give me the hardest time are not teenagers.

Karla, I never believed that there were guys on this board like that.

I apologise for the idiots in our presence that treated you like that.

[Jess]

No need to read all the comments here, I agree with your post 100% Deepwaters it pretty much sums up and answers the question in this thread, everything else just reinforces it ;-)

Also, there's a certain beauty and charm in communicating with the opposite sex and making them feel flattered, you can be funny and spontaneous but asking them whether their breast are real is not one of them. I would love to know where this thread on Karla's photos is, as I would love to share a piece of my mind on these comments...

Originally Posted by Ruroshen

For the record, while I can't speak for any of the other mods, I can say that I've never received a single complaint about Plaz's avatar, and saw nothing but praise for it on the forums until tonight. And that's even after I put out a call for anyone uncomfortable with it to PM me.

Remember folks, if you find something objectionable, you can always report a post or PM your friendly neighborhood moderators. I can't promise we'll always agree with your opinion, but keeping it to yourself doesn't help anybody.

There shouldn't be a need for anyone to say they feel uncomfortable with something so obvious, the mods should have enough sense to distinguish what's right and what's unsuitable for the type of forum we're in. This is a public forum open to the public where all ages can view and join is it not ?? Even though we might not have a problem with something personally, we should still use common sense me thinks ;-)

[wasabi622]

What I want to know is why it's so important. I don't mean in any way to suggest that women fans are not important, but that we should focus on simply getting more fans, woman or man. I mean, this is a Alizée fan forum, so it's meant for Alizée fans regardless of their sex.

I don't feel it necessary for us to have to muzzle ourselves for the sake of trying to appeal more to a group that isn't targeted as much by Alizée and her crew. To be clear though, I don't mean we should be openly and overly vulgar and offensive, for common courtesy is always needed, but that we shouldn't feel the need to be all PC about it.

Originally Posted by Jess

There shouldn't be a need for anyone to say they feel uncomfortable with something so obvious, the mods should have enough sense to distinguish what's right and what's unsuitable for the type of forum we're in. This is a public forum open to the public where all ages can view and join is it not ?? Even though we might not have a problem with something personally, we should still use common sense me thinks ;-)

I don't agree with this at all. The mods are there to moderate things and keep the site running smoothly. This doesn't mean that they should just go around and edit the site based purely on what they personally feel is right and wrong. The input from the community should be valued first, for that is what's going to keep things smooth.

[VVVACCPLPNLY]

Simply by them being mods, their opinion matters the most. Right or wrong, for one, is irrelevant; for two, is a matter of opinion. If they want this forum to present a better image, then we pretty much have to oblige. But wasabi, I do agree with you, I don't understand why some people here care so much whether the person on theother side of the screen is male or female. I am not here to date, so gender doesn't matter to me. But I do try my best not to offend anybody in any way in any of my posts.

[Jess]

I think VVVA understood my point more ;-) For the record, the question is "How can we welcome more women here & to Lili ?". That is what our response is to, no one is saying we should make this our priority. But if you pay close attention you will see that the answers to this question also presents an opportunity for feed back as to what we can do in general to make this a more inviting forum. As Lefty has said on another thread "what we do here and what we post can have an impact".

Also, I'm not saying mods should act instinctively on their own point of views which is actually the way it has been done in this case I think. I'm saying the mods should apply common sense considering the type of forum this is. I have no problems watching nude girls and or trying to pick them up, but is this the place no. When there's something that is questionable it usually is inappropriate, that's why Ben deleted the photos that were posted from Alizee's Facebook.

[VVVACCPLPNLY]

Thanks, jess. As I have said before, I pretend Alizée herself is reading everything I post, that should keep any of her fans from posting objectionable material. Though, I doubt she reads every post, or even any. But it is possible she has people who do.

[Karlalizee]

the thread is titled "How can we welcome more women here & to Lili? "

people come here because they have already been introduced to her music, her picture or her videos. the first time i heard her music was in a truck. a friend of mine was playing moi... lolita from the gourmandises cd and i loved the piano riff. (on the video it first happens at 1:19).

as far as welcoming us. just do that..say 'welcome to the site.' it will be up to us if we stay or go.

as pointed out before, people in here come and go for no apparent reason. they come in here and watch the videos, look at the pictures and/or read the threads without ever posting a single comment. once in a while, a long time member will see something that warrants a comment and finds him or herself drawn into the comradery that is the heart and soul of this forum. forums are like clubs, organizations and religions; you get out of it what you put into it.

as far as behavior goes, any girl who comes in here is going to quickly find that the majority of the members are men. men do what men do. if she is all prim and proper she is not going to enjoy herself in here. if she is like me, a girl who feels comfortable around men and likes to go crazy now and then, she is going to have a great time. the reason my friend left was because she had her heart broken by one of the members. it happens. long distance romances rarely work out. but i digress.

i guess what i am trying to say is that a person can pick and choose what thread they want to read. if that person feels uncomfortable, then get the hell out of there and do not look back. lesson learned.