A true fan no more...(Long post)

[Shintsu]

Not that I'm anyone that anyone else here would even notice if I weren't here, but I must confess this to someone. To my own displeasure as well - I don't think I'm a fan of Alizee anymore. I loved the idea of Alizee as she was a couple years ago, that cute innocent young girl. The music that led me to discover Alizee was Gourmandises and Mes Courants Electriques, and this was the Alizee that I liked. The music that I enjoyed, that I listened to (And still do) so much. Was this angelic voice that of a real human being?

With Psychedelices, so much changed - she wasn't that innocent girl anymore and the music changed. Allow me to be rather straight and brash in this post as I don't care to beat around the subject - I didn't much care for Psychedelices. There were a few songs that I liked, but stuff like Decollage said too much about how she was changing. I clung to the fibers of hope that things would get better though (overall). But to me they didn't.

I loved the look Alizee has had for so long, but now with this new look - she looks kind of like Cher in ways. And I honestly hate the look, she's so naturally beautiful - all the makeup and the way she does her hair now. Please forgive this horrible comparison (because the hair is the ONLY comparison) but she looks like a dark haired version of Lady Gaga now (Sorry, I really hate Lady Gaga and she really has no right to be compared to the likes of Alizee). She got that tattoo (which I find an abomination on women in general, but especially the likes of Alizee). She's changed her look, it's not the cute stuff any more. She's trying to do more of a sexy kind of look, but again images of Cher conjure in my head and I never liked that look (Also the Cleopatra look if you rather). If this makes sense, I found Alizee sexy when she was just being naturally herself which was cute but now that she's trying to do the sexy look it's just not that appealing to me. I really feel broken now, Alizee was the angel of my dreams the one I could always say "Who needs anyone else when Alizee exists?" but now...I have no one to fill that place. The Alizee that mesmerized me I think is gone, and while you all I suppose have all transitioned to stay with her changes I just don't think I can.

Again I'm probably sharing more details than anyone here even cares about me (I mean I'm pretty much a nobody around here) but the whole way I discovered Alizee was a rather funny one. Everyone knows what World of Warcraft is, well I stumbled somehow upon videos on YouTube of people doing dance compilations using MMORPGs. One of them said where the real life dances that were in WoW came from. Low and behold, the female Night Elf dance was this amazing woman I had seen (but knew not the name of). I tracked down her name and the first full video I saw was a live performance of J'en Ai Marre. After I came down from my dazed and mesmerized state, I looked up more videos. Low and behold, I find that she went to a young girl's birthday party JUST for her...wow. Then another clip, she's with a fan of hers in I think a shoe store and she's so friendly - not even like a famous person at all! They cut back and I will never forget Alizee was crying on stage recalling the video clips of where she had done those things...so not only is she drop dead gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice and she is a great person!

For days I just kept watching videos of her live performances and showed other people at my school at the time. I actually have a large framed poster of her in my room as well. I made my best efforts to track down fan gear so I could let it be known to my classmates, but I never found any. Anything to let other people know I had found an angel. It was during this time (I think) that I discovered this forum and registered.

I used to watch every video someone would post, every song, every translation, anything related to her I wanted to see. I was even friends with a few people here on Xbox Live. But as time passed, they stopped talking to me, no more invites, then I saw they removed me (This isn't really new to me though). I became less and less interested in every little video someone would release on here. As it is now...I really don't have much interest in any videos of anything. I don't even care to watch her music videos. The news updates and stuff, all never really catch my attention. If it weren't for an email notice I had received about those signed CDs I don't know when I would have logged back on here (Nothing like thinking you realistically have a chance at something that would make you so happy only to have it stomped on by for other reasons which you had no control over, but my luck has always been bad at everything so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised).

I mean I see that so many of you on here are obsessed with Alizee (some actually quite a bit unhealthily I dare say, but I won't deny that I was unhealthily obsessed with her when I first found out about her). I mean every picture of her, someone will pour their heart out about her. Any time someone mentions anything about her people all swoop and start "fanboying" (Not really the appropriate term I guess, but you probably know what I'm getting at - just think about for example Sony fanboys on a PS3 forum raving about every update and announcement and proclaiming their utter devotion to and love for Sony). I used to be all behind that, but I find anymore if I look into myself I'm not really excited about it. I hate it, but if I have to convince myself to be excited it's just faux and there's no point in doing it.

Despite all this, I don't think it's to say that I don't like Alizee at all anymore - she is still the same person that mesmerized me a couple years ago, I just feel she is doing a lot of experimenting with her sound and look. I still think she is a great person, but I think I'm more in love with the idea of Alizee than her herself. A group which I have been a fan of for far longer and with much more certainty is Genesis, and comparatively I find great interest in hearing any news about them (But to be fair I just don't think I'm the kind of person who really cares about every little thing someone famous does unless it's autographs, special editions of stuff, tours, or other big stuff). I just think it means I'm not a true fan of Alizee anymore. I didn't actually buy Psychedelices (did listen to them all online though), but I don't plan to buy the album of it now like I originally did and I was only interested in the newest album if it had an autograph on it - I have no intention to buy one now though.

Perhaps you all can persevere and keep hopes she'll come to America, but I have my personal doubts. She's been to Mexico where her music apparently sells well (I didn't know this until I looked it up) but not even to a big US city like LA or NYC. I know if ever she did tour here she'd maybe go to the huge cities like NYC and LA, not sure where in the middle of the US she'd go but I live in Kentucky and all possible destinations are unreasonably far for someone in college like myself (Would require expensive plane tickets + hotel stay OR lots of gas to drive there + hotel stay + lots of time). Genesis came on tour (Turn it on again tour) and I was able to drive to Columbus, OH for that one - about three hour drive. Given the changes in Alizee's music and look, I can't personally justify the great expense of going that far to see her concerts if she ever even had them. Maybe you all think she cares about you, but in my head I don't think so. She's a nice person and would never say she doesn't care about any of her fans no matter where they are but some things just aren't feasible and I think a US concert is one of them. Again, maybe I'm wrong and some of you all will be able to go and enjoy it - I just don't think it will happen and if it did I honestly have to say I wouldn't go unless it were in a bordering state. If it were the Alizee I was originally infatuated with and that music - yes I would, I would find a way and a how.

On a somewhat more creepy note there do seem to be quite a bit of considerably older fans of her. It kind of seems like a 50 year old guy being crazy nuts fanboy over Hannah Montana or Justin Bleiber - it just creeps you out. I'm not going to say I think it's impossible for someone older to be a fan of someone younger, but again it does border being a little creepy. I imagine Alizee's biggest fan base is the 13-19 and 20-30 demographic, but to see people outside that demographic be infatuated fans creeps me out - no offense.

The Alizee which is immortalized in my mind as the image of perfection will always look (in my own head) something like these:



Her face combined with the way she had her hair (stunning body doesn't hurt either) just dumbfounded me - there is no better looking person than her in these photos. These pictures are at least I think pretty recent - and allow me to say the pictures of her at the autographing made me think Cher, but these pictures - does anyone watch MadTV? If you don't, look up on YouTube "Mrs. Swan". NO she still has a beautiful face, but the hair makes her look like that little lady and I never thought that lady looked good.




The makeup hurts her beauty so bad - it's like putting a big ricer wing on a Murcielago or something, the car looked great as it naturally was don't put stuff on it!

I'll end my long winded post (I find discussing this subject can't be taken lightly) by saying I still am a fan of Alizee - but not a "true" fan who wants to know all about her every moves and stuff. For me the image of Alizee was this cute young girl with a beautiful voice and fantastic body who was compassionate and kind bringing smiles to everyone she was around who was totally innocent. To me, the tattoo, now she's married, she has a kid, the makeup - it's stomping all over my personal image of Alizee, she's not that innocent young girl I was in love with in high school anymore. I would rather stop following Alizee as a true fan now and retain the high image I have of her in my head than to have it lowered and then not hold her in as high of a place as she should be.

This isn't a farewell post per say, I still will check back every few months but after reviewing several threads I don't think there's much here I could discuss with others here. This being an Alizee forum, I don't expect there to be either. I wish you all well, please take no offense at anything I've said in this post - I just needed to vent these bottled up feelings somewhere that people would at least comprehend them (perhaps not understand though). Again I'm no body so anyone who reads this has my thanks for listening (reading). It was a euphoric experience to me and I have to say having known Alizee as she was certainly has had a large impact on my life. I don't know if anything will ever top my initial discovery of her and her music (Close to the same date I went to the Genesis concert, which I've been a fan of since 5 years old - I actually was wishing at the time I was going to one of her concerts).

Au revoir forum, vous voyez autour (Forgive if I screwed this last part up, German I can speak somewhat - French, next to nothing)

Shintsu