Just In Time for Halloweenie; Tales of the Jaguar

[Marshal Davout]

Wednesday Addams has to be a Jaguar ; based on the Dance !

The Jaguar; in case you didn't know it; is the Apex Predator of the Americas and Roams all Over !
It has the 3rd Strongest Bite ( after the Lion and the Tiger ) ! It Fears Nothing and takes down Buffalo and Alligators !
Although the Ranchers of Canada and the US have severely reduced their numbers in North America; it still Roams in Central and South America ! The natives of south america will usually refuse to Hunt it; because they say; If you hunt a Jaguar; they will know it, and then they will Hunt You ! So they usually refuse to guide hunters into the jungle, for any amount of money ! In the jungle it will hide in the foliage and hunt during the day; but in the Pampas it will hunt at night, so you don't see it coming ! while a Lion or a Tiger will tear you up to kill you; the Jaguar is quite economical and can kill you with one bite ( through your skull, which it will crack like an Eggshell ! ). The name Jaguar, in native , actually means; He who kills with one leap ! It seems to be a modern descendant of the sabre tooth tiger; and the natives regard it as almost a God !
A guide and four hunters were sitting around their fire in the jungle; when the Jaguar came out of the Jungle to look at them. The Guide told them ; Don't Move ! The one hunter said ; Shouldn't I get my rifle ? But the Guide told him; It's going to kill the first one of us that moves, and then all the rest of us ! Then the Hunter said; But what is it doing ? and the Guide said, If we are Lucky , it has already eaten, so it is merely sizing us up, since we are in it's territory ! Eventually the Jaguar stretched , like a Cat, and nonchalantly walked back into the jungle ! The guide told them Now you can get your Rifles !
Another Native was finally convinced to hunt the Jaguar for some Gold by 4 Hunters ! And so they went into the jungle to Hunt one. But somehow the Jaguar knew they were hunting it; and walked around them and came up behind them 1 They were facing one direction after the cat's trail, but suddenly the guide's sixth sense told him something was watching them and he turned around and saw the Jaguar and then he was afraid, because the Cat was now hunting them ! One by one he killed the hunters gradually as they hunted through the jungle. Finally the one hunter left and the guide were running back to civilization with the Jaguar on their tail and then he killed the last hunter ! The guide ran and ran throughout the day to get away. And finally he came to a clearing and the Cat was on the other side and he couldn't run any more; so he fell to his knees and threw away the men's gold and threw away his knife, so he was disarmed and then he begged the Jaguar not to kill him ! He told it I will never hunt you again; if you let me live ! The cat came and growled around him several times in a circle and the man said his prayers ! But finally the Jaguar walked off into the jungle and spared the guide's life. So he was able to run back to his village and tell them not to hunt the Jaguars as the Cat had spared his life ! so this is why the natives will not usually hunt them for any amount of money !

[Marshal Davout]

People need to LIghten Up the world over; so in that interest,
some Ancient Comedy
Kovacs "The Nairobi Trio"


And another one

[Marshal Davout]

Your mother asks you to take out the garbage and the trash
in return for you allowance;
but you complain about it and then your father tells you "Don't Talk Back ! "

"And Tell Your Hoodlum Friends Outside;
You A'int Got Time to Take a Ride ! " Ha!

[Marshal Davout]

Candy played Football in High School; so he wanted to go Pro, but an Injury sidelined him ! Later he became part owner of the Toronto Argonausts and they won they Grey Cup of the Canadian Football League that year !

Hanks; But what do you say to a Girl who takes off all her clothes in Public ?
Candy; Oh, I'm All For That ! Ha !

Daryyl Hanna is the Mermaid in Splash !