Love is Only Skin Deep

[Renegade]

Ok I know that I'm not that old, but being an unle, a godfather, and having to supervise my cousin's activities at school: grades, sports, taking him to school, etc.

Well, I take him to his friends' or the movies when they want to hang out and after doing this for 4 years I've seen a lot.

Love is no longer a feeling of wanting to be more than friends and spending their life together. Today kids date not to share their time together or to express their love. They date or "go out" to see how far they can get with the girl and be "The Man" or to gain popularity. They don't see girls as people, but more as objects. This disgusts me.

I made this thread because my cousin flies through relationships faster than I change underwear, because I've seen him date girls no longer than a day. I fear that he will end up lonely the rest of his life if he keeps this up. I've talked to him about this and he said "There's always the next one."

I was just wanderin if you believe that dating just isn't the same.

Respect To All
Peace Out

[TheBarrett]

It's modern society, and well, it hasn't exactly been different.
Teenagers do not exactly look for love, they look for sex. This is a result of the environment raised, or the influences gained. Any teenager could be an immature brat, look at about 7 girls and say, "Why not, one for each day of the week."
The rarity is the group of adolescents who search and long for things that are not considered of their age, those who work hard in education or strive for their goals over partying, and the fun in the moment, those who look for The One, the Only, the Love of their Life, instead of lust for several women, and shrug off obstacles as they come.

I have never been on a date ever, at least not romantically, i've had many chances, but I am a picky judge and I can sense what one wants. I would decline any offer of relationship if I find it not in my best interest, their best interest, or a benefit of my well-being, love leads to hurt unless you are sure. People like your cousin don't care for it, it's the phase of stereotypical teenagers. Growing up, I preferred staying home, learning of things, practicing hard and long on my instruments, studying the styles of my heroes, analyzing how to be successful, and then I can go ahead and look for any romantic interest that I deem perfect for me, this does not mean the person has to be perfect, by all means perfect does not exist, but as long as I can see in them something more than just what anyone can show to any partner.

This is just a period in his life, but there are those that continue this cycle, and perhaps they like this cycle. Just because it does not conform to you, does not mean it is not what they want as well. All I can say for your cousin is I hope he grows some sense to search out a greater relationship with someone really special for him, this doesn't mean he looks for the one and stays with her all his life, but day-old relationships, come on, that's pure doggedness.

I for one, hate society, and conforming to it, is only adding in whatever corruption and crappery society can show.
Tradition, romance, honor, never existed, it's all just a shadow hiding under a red, velvet curtain, it will never appear, open the curtains if you wish, but it will still be nothing but a shadow.

The cycle, is thus complete.

[dreamer]

I can assure you that thee will be no fundamental change to the nature of teenage (and all other) relationships as long as our biology remains unchanged. All else follows. What we're are seeing in successive generations are just variations on the same theme.

And please try not to generalize too much...

[vercingetorix]

Well renegade when I was a youngin back in middle school I did the same thing your little cousin is doing now and the reason I think I did it is because in my experience the girls I chose to ''go out with'' the same age as me at the time were boring and most of them would not let me go so far so as I figured this out I started experimenting with older girls as old as 24 yrs old and thats when I found a girlfriend worth staying with...Keep in mind I was just a young kid just getting what I wanted and that's why I stayed with that one last girl that was 24 yrs old when I was only 15 yrs old...Well I hope that helps you...Anyways what I think I'm trying to say is is that he just has to live and learn,and I think you should let him do so...Those were my older brothers words''live and learn''...

[mavsluver41]

Originally Posted by Renegade

They date or "go out" to see how far they can get with the girl and be "The Man" or to gain popularity. They don't see girls as people, but more as objects. This disgusts me.

I know exactly what you mean. I attend an all-boys school so the muscle-flexing, misogynistic, popularity-seeking machismo is magnified a hundred times (because most of the guys, it seems, are intent on leaving absolutely no doubt that they are straight ).

I remember just the other week, one of my friends was explaining to a large group how his dad married the first girlfriend he ever had. This was greeted by much laughter, shock, and confusion.

It has become like a game: who can collect more pretty girls to add to their collection? Extra points if she's older than you. Move ten spaces forward in popularity for every time you've "made-out."

I find that I'm more similar to Barrett with regard to this situation, and agree with most of his post (though I have to say I am a conformist in other regards).

Surely, its just a phase that will disappear suddenly by itself when priorities are set straight. This is when the search for "the one" truly begins, and "love" actually becomes a factor.

[Tchaikovsky]

Well it's very simple...people are stupid.

[HelixSix]

I'm not sure if girls realize how much they degrade their quality by dating and f'ing different guys every week. Whether it be fear of being alone, desire to be popular, desire to be with a popular person, boredom, or a self esteem boost, it just happens. And it is not likely they will run across any guys that will turn them down...so they just keep going.

The other reason girls change partners so fast is so they can speed up the process for finding "the one". The problem with this (or for me) is that girls who go through guys so fast are just disgusting in my eyes. You think I'm gonna even consider dating you when the last guy's condom is still hanging out your *****? Not only is it disgusting in the germ and disease aspect since I know for a fact that most guys are just plain sick and dirty, literally....but it just shows how the girls are unable to control their actions or think for the future.

I see it happen so often it isn't even funny. Girls will be excited about this new guy they know nothing about, then a week or 2 later they are in tears crying and yelling about how the guy treated or used her. "Why can't I find a decent guy" they say, so they go to the next guy on the conveyor belt of deception and letdowns and hope he turns out to be what they want instead of actually waiting a second and scoping out who the guys are before dating them.

Not to mention that actually waiting a little while gives the decent guys a chance to get in touch.