Ask Azhiri and Karla!

[Karlalizee]

This thread is for questions you guys may have about fashion, dating, make-up and other 'girly' stuff. All that we ask is that you keep it clean. A moderator will be notified of any profanity or vulgar language. Any thoughts, questions or concerns will be grateful.

Edit:

Originally Posted by Jalen

lol.

Question 1: "So.... you guys are like... chicks, right? how's that working out for you guys?"

Question 2: "So what's up with chick-kind having like seventy-two different types of soap and lotion and crap?"

1. Except for the monthly thing, it is working well.

2. We like to keep clean and smell nice. We know what the sun, environment and age will do to your skin, so we like to keep it soft and smooth.

[user472884]

An honest outlet where I can ask all of my questions about all the mysteries of the female universe?

*cracks knuckles*

1. Uggz. Why?

2. Why do the chicks at my school (and presumably everywhere else) always carry like four or five different types of hand moisturizer?

3. Jessica Rabbit-Red lipstick... why?..... it looks like clown makeup

4. Excessive eye schmear. Why?

5. Makeup, perfume, and other appearance-aura augmenting aides... I understand that in human nature at its very roots, we're constantly seeking a feasible mate to reproduce with the one goal of attempting to create the strongest possible offspring. I understand that we find these mates based on who has the best genes (i.e. teh faec, boobs, buttox, etc) and our attraction to these potential suitors also is partially determined by whether or not we like the other's pheromones. I understand that makeup changes malekind's perception of female facial features, and perfume gives malekind a false pheromone to lust over. But all these efforts would be specifically to find a mate to have sex with, which I'm pretty sure neither men or women are constantly trying to do (well... okay, men probably do). So if a female is not out actively seeking a male mate to court and reproduce with, what is the point of wearing makeup at all times? Especially at this day in age?

6. How do "measurements" work? like on IMDB sometimes it'll list an actress's measurements/size and it'll be something like "34B-30-36"... what the hell does that mean

7. What are split ends?

I do recognize of course, that the answers to all of these I could easily find online... in fact I even prefer a non-partisan, sterile answer devoid of any bias or otherwise... but sometimes it's fun to hear an actual person's personal opinion or take on something... and of course since you've gone to the trouble to making an entire thread and donating your time to the cause, I might as well participate!

8. I've been stalker-free (thanks again Dacotaness) for a few months now... and she is a pretty crazy mother fucker... should I be cautious of any "revenge" she might take out on me? I have no clue how the female mind works (well, I understand it as a primatologist understands why monkeys do, which simple and logical reasoning) so I really have no idea what you/she'd be capable of.

9. What's up with this one ho (acquaintance through Zach) trying to convince me that she is and always has been a natural blonde... when she's quite clearly not? (Azhiri- t'is the ho in my Retards album)

10. Is there any other point to a tramp-stamp other than to call attention to that area? any other reason at all?

11. What's up with chicks doing the whole raccoon eye thing? isn't the whole point of makeup to be subtle so as not to make obvious that something is out of the ordinary?

12. (feel free not to answer if it's too bold of a question) I understand why some chicks would prefer one style of tampon to the other, but which one works the 'best'? (I'm pretty confident I know the answer but I've been wrong before)

13. What's the point of tongue piercings? (I hope it's not what I've heard)

14. How come chick shorts are SO short? I mean really... I get the aesthetic benefits for both genders, but really... maybe I'm just too utilitarian with clothing... but I feel like more fabric goes into my socks than into those shorts... they are called 'shorts' right? there's not some different name for them? They don't provide any protection for your guy's thighs, I'm sure you guys get pretty cold in them (like last Tuesday, 21˚F and alas, there be a gaggle of girls walking in the parking lot freezing their asses off (literally and figuratively))..... are they at least cheaper than pants?

15. What's this obsession with being tan and tanning? Personally I don't find 'darker' girls more appealing than pale ones... and scientificallymiantalessencallyness, people who have whiter/paler skin are thus because originally their race lived somewhere where geographically there wasn't a lot of sunlight, so their skin had to become paler to take in as much light as possible to make a decent amount of vitamin C... (ex: ireland and irish lassies), versus somewhere where sunlight is abundant and the skin needs to be more resistant to light because it has no problem creating vitamin C (ex: mexico, africa, etc)... so what's the point of being tan? Is it a simply visual thing for courting the other gender? Are races of sunnier origins viewed as more attractive/appealing than caucasian ones?

16. what are your guy's favorite pizza toppings? I'm a pepperoni-mushroom-sausage-bacon type of guy mahselfs

17. We all know that 7 8 9, but what if 9 8 7? Where would we be then?

18. Out of sheer curiosity, if you had to change one thing about yourselves, what would it be

19. What are your guy's opinions on traditional gender roles?

20. I had a bro fight with some random douche at school on viernes (i'm going to refrain saying the English translation for a while) about guys growing out their hair to gay lengths (like this), and he said that he and other douches do it because "girls dig it"...... please tell me he's wrong? or do you guys 'dig it'? (in the latter case, I'll lose my very last shred of hope in humanity and promptly fly to Paris to swan-dive off of the Eiffel Tower)

21. I quite like this guy, but most people hate him. What sayeth thou?


22. What's the point of high-heeled shoes? Is there any reason to them other than appearing taller?


I'm sure I'll think of more later.

(in case you haven't noticed, all the above was fer teh lulz, and if you don't want to answer any of them I won't be offended)

Edit:

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

A moderator will be notified of any profanity or vulgar language

Oh aye... I wonder which one?

Originally Posted by Karlalizee

1. Except for the monthly thing, it is working well.

Lulz

-0-----------

thought of another one

23. What is the female opinion (assuming of course a survey of two at most is accurate) of guys wearing their pants hanging off their asses?

[Azhiri]

-cracks knuckles-

1. Uggz. Why?

2. Why do the chicks at my school (and presumably everywhere else) always carry like four or five different types of hand moisturizer?

3. Jessica Rabbit-Red lipstick... why?..... it looks like clown makeup

4. Excessive eye schmear. Why?

5. Makeup, perfume, and other appearance-aura augmenting aides... I understand that in human nature at its very roots, we're constantly seeking a feasible mate to reproduce with the one goal of attempting to create the strongest possible offspring. I understand that we find these mates based on who has the best genes (i.e. teh faec, boobs, buttox, etc) and our attraction to these potential suitors also is partially determined by whether or not we like the other's pheromones. I understand that makeup changes malekind's perception of female facial features, and perfume gives malekind a false pheromone to lust over. But all these efforts would be specifically to find a mate to have sex with, which I'm pretty sure neither men or women are constantly trying to do (well... okay, men probably do). So if a female is not out actively seeking a male mate to court and reproduce with, what is the point of wearing makeup at all times? Especially at this day in age?

1. They're warm and I suppose some people think they're adorable. There are several varieties of Uggz so you will have to be more specific than that if you want a better answer

2. Because they know that they will have to lend some out and it's always good to have plenty on ya.

3. Some people like to emphasize their lips. It's seen as a classic lip color. Although some girls abuse it :X

4. Some girls like to emphasize their eyes. Some people go overboard and think it's simply for the sake of having makeup on, and wear too much.

5. Did you not think of this: maybe some people do these things for fun, and not for other people.

6. How do "measurements" work? like on IMDB sometimes it'll list an actress's measurements/size and it'll be something like "34B-30-36"... what the hell does that mean

7. What are split ends?

I do recognize of course, that the answers to all of these I could easily find online... in fact I even prefer a non-partisan, sterile answer devoid of any bias or otherwise... but sometimes it's fun to hear an actual person's personal opinion or take on something... and of course since you've gone to the trouble to making an entire thread and donating your time to the cause, I might as well participate!

8. I've been stalker-free (thanks again Dacotaness) for a few months now... and she is a pretty crazy mother fucker... should I be cautious of any "revenge" she might take out on me? I have no clue how the female mind works (well, I understand it as a primatologist understands why monkeys do, which simple and logical reasoning) so I really have no idea what you/she'd be capable of.

9. What's up with this one ho (acquaintance through Zach) trying to convince me that she is and always has been a natural blonde... when she's quite clearly not? (Azhiri- t'is the ho in my Retards album)

10. Is there any other point to a tramp-stamp other than to call attention to that area? any other reason at all?

6. This, I will have to hand over to Karla because I'm not sure myself!

7. It's when your hair is damaged and the end of one strand is literally split apart.

8. Unfortunately we as a species don't share some kind of global communication/reasoning circuit like men appear to, so I can't help ya there.

9. ^

10. Same reason a man would get a tattoo

11. What's up with chicks doing the whole raccoon eye thing? isn't the whole point of makeup to be subtle so as not to make obvious that something is out of the ordinary?

12. (feel free not to answer if it's too bold of a question) I understand why some chicks would prefer one style of tampon to the other, but which one works the 'best'? (I'm pretty confident I know the answer but I've been wrong before)

13. What's the point of tongue piercings? (I hope it's not what I've heard)

14. How come chick shorts are SO short? I mean really... I get the aesthetic benefits for both genders, but really... maybe I'm just too utilitarian with clothing... but I feel like more fabric goes into my socks than into those shorts... they are called 'shorts' right? there's not some different name for them? They don't provide any protection for your guy's thighs, I'm sure you guys get pretty cold in them (like last Tuesday, 21˚F and alas, there be a gaggle of girls walking in the parking lot freezing their asses off (literally and figuratively))..... are they at least cheaper than pants?

15. What's this obsession with being tan and tanning? Personally I don't find 'darker' girls more appealing than pale ones... and scientificallymiantalessencallyness, people who have whiter/paler skin are thus because originally their race lived somewhere where geographically there wasn't a lot of sunlight, so their skin had to become paler to take in as much light as possible to make a decent amount of vitamin C... (ex: ireland and irish lassies), versus somewhere where sunlight is abundant and the skin needs to be more resistant to light because it has no problem creating vitamin C (ex: mexico, africa, etc)... so what's the point of being tan? Is it a simply visual thing for courting the other gender? Are races of sunnier origins viewed as more attractive/appealing than caucasian ones?

11. This is the same as number 4, revise please!

12. I don't use those so I wouldn't know

13. Some people think it looks good. Also low-key it's pretty cool kissing a guy with a tongue piercing.

14. They're very, very comfortable.

15. Tan people look healthier and more natural. People aren't supposed to be completely white!

16. what are your guy's favorite pizza toppings? I'm a pepperoni-mushroom-sausage-bacon type of guy mahselfs

17. We all know that 7 8 9, but what if 9 8 7? Where would we be then?

18. Out of sheer curiosity, if you had to change one thing about yourselves, what would it be

19. What are your guy's opinions on traditional gender roles?

20. I had a bro fight with some random douche at school on viernes (i'm going to refrain saying the English translation for a while) about guys growing out their hair to gay lengths (like this), and he said that he and other douches do it because "girls dig it"...... please tell me he's wrong? or do you guys 'dig it'? (in the latter case, I'll lose my very last shred of hope in humanity and promptly fly to Paris to swan-dive off of the Eiffel Tower)

16. You know this already

17. 42

18. Absolutely nothing, and that's a fact, Jack.

19. It's okay when people are flexible about said roles, but people who are anal about it are nauseating. I especially hate when guys HAVE to be some kind of white knight and not let a girl handle difficult things on her own and just go overboard with chivalry.

20. Some girls dig it. Some guys dig heavy eyeliner. Some guys dig tongue piercing, some guys dig Uggs, some guys dig shorts. It's all subjective.

21. I quite like this guy, but most people hate him. What sayeth thou?


22. What's the point of high-heeled shoes? Is there any reason to them other than appearing taller?

21. You jerk

22. Some girls like the way they look. Otherwise, yeah, they make you look taller/your legs look better.

Ahhhhh. I enjoy being a girl.

[MYGOGT]

I know I probably should stay out of this , but I believe Jalen is gonna keep you two very busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DrSmith]

Originally Posted by Jalen

6. How do "measurements" work? like on IMDB sometimes it'll list an actress's measurements/size and it'll be something like "34B-30-36"... what the hell does that mean

Originally Posted by Azhiri

6. This, I will have to hand over to Karla because I'm not sure myself!

Why do you not know this?

chest circumference, cup size - waist circumference - hip circumference

Edit:

Originally Posted by Azhiri

16. You know this already

What about the rest of us? I'm dying to know. O:

[Azhiri]

Cheese with extra sauce and thick crust. ;D

[DrSmith]

Oh, so you're crazy.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF PIZZA WITH NO TOPPINGS? I ask you.

[HelixSix]

Originally Posted by Azhiri

10. Same reason a man would get a tattoo

Yeah but the tramp stamp is in a specific area.

Guys don't have a specific area to get a certain type or size of tattoo. The arms are used alot but there is no label (that I know of) for a certain area. Sure there are a lot of types of tattoo's but they can go anywhere on a guy's body and it doesn't really matter. What matters is the meaning of the tattoo.

Why would a girl get a tattoo in an area that already has a meaning? It could be the most nonsexual tattoo but being in that location would end up defining it I'd think. Girls have their entire body to get tattoos on...why there?

Lastly I don't see how a girl would be proud of having a tramp stamp. Usually girls don't like being labeled as something degrading. Is it a competition between females to see who has the best tattoo?....or who can get the job done the best?

[user472884]

5. I thought you guys would grow out of playing dress-up at some point

after typing that I realized how wrong I am.

10. Men don't get tattoos above their asses. It's in the Bible of Bro

11. whoopsie. I took a fruit-by-the-foot break while typing that so I must've lost track

12. Neither do I, thus you understand my confuzzlement. (on another note I believed you did. anyways...)

13. arghasdlkj there's deer outside again

14. They look very squeezy and uncomfortable imo

15. notrly

16. WIMMINZ. THERE'S A LOT OF RANDOM FACTS AND KNOWLEDGES SWIMMING AROUND MY HEAD (i like to vision it like the ghost cauldron thing in the liveaction scooby doo movie, but more erratic and sperm-like. It explains why random thoughts pop into my head at odd times), SO IT'S QUITE DIFFICULT TO RECALL WHETHER OR NOT WE'VE EVEN DISCUSSED PIZZA, LET ALONE YOUR CHOICE OF TOPPINGS. ARE YOU PERHAPS CONFUSING PIZZA FOR SUBWAY SAMMICHES, FOR WHICH WE DISCOVERED THAT WE ORDER EXTREMELY SIMILAR, IF NOT IDENTICAL FIXINS (for double checking that: turkey, pepperoni, sometimes bacon, lettuce, tomaters, onion, mayo n' mustard, all on white)

20. OICWATUDIDTHUR, bringing it all together

22. When I was a younger chillin I thought I was epicsauce with my heelies, but I didn't know how to take the wheels out so I had to learn as if I were wearing heels.... I couldn't STAND that half inch quasi-heel, let alone some of those crazy long ones you chicks wear

----------

MOAR QUESTIONS BECAUSE I'M AL;KFJAS;LDKFJ;LKJ ;LKJASDFL;KJASL;DKFJXCVJASLDKFJWOEISRWOEIUFSDJK INSANE SQUARE DEAL SAM WITH THE BEST BARGAN PRICES IN TOWN!!!ELEVEN!!!

23. (please see 23. from the first post (chronologically second))

24. Having argument with the Zach. We've come to this:
Zach: The person who pays is the person who did the asking out, meaning if his interesting-as-a-potato, horse-faced girlfriend asked out the Zach, she'd have to pay.
Me: Men pay regardless, or decline the original invitation and reinvite her to something that doesn't cost monies, like walking on the beach or some crap like that
WHO IS CORRECT. I DO BELIEVE I AM BECAUSE ZACH CANNOT BE CORRECT EVER AND IF HE EVER IS THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE

25. In your humble opinions, which song is the most romantic for purposes of courting a female? (not rickroll, I pwomise)


(But with the pronouns changed; I give 'you' all my love, that's all I do, and if they saw my love, they'd love 'you' too - and so forth)

I'm torn between the first and third.

26. What are y'all's opinions on HARDCORE feminists?

27. What's more appealing/impressive; knowing one instrument very well, or knowing a lot of instruments so-so?

Edit:

Originally Posted by DrSmith

Why do you not know this?

chest circumference, cup size - waist circumference - hip circumference

Is the chest measured above or below (or including?) teh bewbage?
(asking Smithypoo a question in an Azhiri-Karla thread? MADNESS)

Originally Posted by Azhiri

Cheese with extra sauce and thick crust. ;D

.....
So I take it you're the kind of gal who would hang up a blank canvas and eat bread sandwiches?

Originally Posted by DrSmith

Oh, so you're crazy.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF PIZZA WITH NO TOPPINGS? I ask you.

I'm with Smith'shotsexybody on this one.

Edit:

Karla when she wakes up and checks AAm: "wtf? *facepalm* goddamnit Jalen"

[DrSmith]

Originally Posted by Jalen

Is the chest measured above or below (or including?) teh bewbage?
(asking Smithypoo a question in an Azhiri-Karla thread? MADNESS)

Including "teh bewbage." The measurement is taken at the fullest part of the breasts.

(I'm just doing my part since Azhiri dropped the ball.) D:

QUESTION (for Azhiri) : Do you wear dresses?

Originally Posted by Jalen

.....
So I take it you're the kind of gal who would hang up a blank canvas and eat bread sandwiches?