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#1
09-09-2012, 10:01 PM
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Jokes Thread
Hunting Story
One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced and shown around to the other club members. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. "Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest my feet. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever saw jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! well, I just crapped in my pants." The young men looked at him in amazement and one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have crapped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me." The old man shook his head and said, "No, no, not then, just now when I said ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Car je suis fou de toi... Quand tu n'm'appartiens pas! - Alizée, Dis-Moi, Les Enfoirés 2009  Last edited by Taxi Driver Aaron; 09-09-2012 at 10:55 PM.. 
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#3
09-10-2012, 12:56 AM
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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow".
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#4
09-10-2012, 01:17 AM
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A cheeseburger walks into a bar and says, "I'd like to order a beer!"
The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food!" The cheeseburger says, "What about that mushroom over there? You gave him a beer!" "Yeah, but that's just because he's a fungi," replies the bartender. The cheeseburger then looks over to the other end of the bar where he sees a carrot sippin' on a tall cold one and he says, "Hey Carrot! Did the bartender tell you that he doesn't serve food?" The carrot points to his top and says "I'm a frayed knot!" Frustrated, the cheeseburger walks out of the bar, ruffs up his bun, and returns to the bartender and says "I'd like to have beer now!" The bartender says, "Hey!, didn't I just tell you I don't serve food?" The cheeseburger points to the top of his bun and says, "I'm a frayed knot!"
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Car je suis fou de toi... Quand tu n'm'appartiens pas! - Alizée, Dis-Moi, Les Enfoirés 2009
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