Ask Azhiri and Karla!

[Azhiri]

-cracks knuckles-

1. Uggz. Why?

2. Why do the chicks at my school (and presumably everywhere else) always carry like four or five different types of hand moisturizer?

3. Jessica Rabbit-Red lipstick... why?..... it looks like clown makeup

4. Excessive eye schmear. Why?

5. Makeup, perfume, and other appearance-aura augmenting aides... I understand that in human nature at its very roots, we're constantly seeking a feasible mate to reproduce with the one goal of attempting to create the strongest possible offspring. I understand that we find these mates based on who has the best genes (i.e. teh faec, boobs, buttox, etc) and our attraction to these potential suitors also is partially determined by whether or not we like the other's pheromones. I understand that makeup changes malekind's perception of female facial features, and perfume gives malekind a false pheromone to lust over. But all these efforts would be specifically to find a mate to have sex with, which I'm pretty sure neither men or women are constantly trying to do (well... okay, men probably do). So if a female is not out actively seeking a male mate to court and reproduce with, what is the point of wearing makeup at all times? Especially at this day in age?

1. They're warm and I suppose some people think they're adorable. There are several varieties of Uggz so you will have to be more specific than that if you want a better answer

2. Because they know that they will have to lend some out and it's always good to have plenty on ya.

3. Some people like to emphasize their lips. It's seen as a classic lip color. Although some girls abuse it :X

4. Some girls like to emphasize their eyes. Some people go overboard and think it's simply for the sake of having makeup on, and wear too much.

5. Did you not think of this: maybe some people do these things for fun, and not for other people.

6. How do "measurements" work? like on IMDB sometimes it'll list an actress's measurements/size and it'll be something like "34B-30-36"... what the hell does that mean

7. What are split ends?

I do recognize of course, that the answers to all of these I could easily find online... in fact I even prefer a non-partisan, sterile answer devoid of any bias or otherwise... but sometimes it's fun to hear an actual person's personal opinion or take on something... and of course since you've gone to the trouble to making an entire thread and donating your time to the cause, I might as well participate!

8. I've been stalker-free (thanks again Dacotaness) for a few months now... and she is a pretty crazy mother fucker... should I be cautious of any "revenge" she might take out on me? I have no clue how the female mind works (well, I understand it as a primatologist understands why monkeys do, which simple and logical reasoning) so I really have no idea what you/she'd be capable of.

9. What's up with this one ho (acquaintance through Zach) trying to convince me that she is and always has been a natural blonde... when she's quite clearly not? (Azhiri- t'is the ho in my Retards album)

10. Is there any other point to a tramp-stamp other than to call attention to that area? any other reason at all?

6. This, I will have to hand over to Karla because I'm not sure myself!

7. It's when your hair is damaged and the end of one strand is literally split apart.

8. Unfortunately we as a species don't share some kind of global communication/reasoning circuit like men appear to, so I can't help ya there.

9. ^

10. Same reason a man would get a tattoo

11. What's up with chicks doing the whole raccoon eye thing? isn't the whole point of makeup to be subtle so as not to make obvious that something is out of the ordinary?

12. (feel free not to answer if it's too bold of a question) I understand why some chicks would prefer one style of tampon to the other, but which one works the 'best'? (I'm pretty confident I know the answer but I've been wrong before)

13. What's the point of tongue piercings? (I hope it's not what I've heard)

14. How come chick shorts are SO short? I mean really... I get the aesthetic benefits for both genders, but really... maybe I'm just too utilitarian with clothing... but I feel like more fabric goes into my socks than into those shorts... they are called 'shorts' right? there's not some different name for them? They don't provide any protection for your guy's thighs, I'm sure you guys get pretty cold in them (like last Tuesday, 21˚F and alas, there be a gaggle of girls walking in the parking lot freezing their asses off (literally and figuratively))..... are they at least cheaper than pants?

15. What's this obsession with being tan and tanning? Personally I don't find 'darker' girls more appealing than pale ones... and scientificallymiantalessencallyness, people who have whiter/paler skin are thus because originally their race lived somewhere where geographically there wasn't a lot of sunlight, so their skin had to become paler to take in as much light as possible to make a decent amount of vitamin C... (ex: ireland and irish lassies), versus somewhere where sunlight is abundant and the skin needs to be more resistant to light because it has no problem creating vitamin C (ex: mexico, africa, etc)... so what's the point of being tan? Is it a simply visual thing for courting the other gender? Are races of sunnier origins viewed as more attractive/appealing than caucasian ones?

11. This is the same as number 4, revise please!

12. I don't use those so I wouldn't know

13. Some people think it looks good. Also low-key it's pretty cool kissing a guy with a tongue piercing.

14. They're very, very comfortable.

15. Tan people look healthier and more natural. People aren't supposed to be completely white!

16. what are your guy's favorite pizza toppings? I'm a pepperoni-mushroom-sausage-bacon type of guy mahselfs

17. We all know that 7 8 9, but what if 9 8 7? Where would we be then?

18. Out of sheer curiosity, if you had to change one thing about yourselves, what would it be

19. What are your guy's opinions on traditional gender roles?

20. I had a bro fight with some random douche at school on viernes (i'm going to refrain saying the English translation for a while) about guys growing out their hair to gay lengths (like this), and he said that he and other douches do it because "girls dig it"...... please tell me he's wrong? or do you guys 'dig it'? (in the latter case, I'll lose my very last shred of hope in humanity and promptly fly to Paris to swan-dive off of the Eiffel Tower)

16. You know this already

17. 42

18. Absolutely nothing, and that's a fact, Jack.

19. It's okay when people are flexible about said roles, but people who are anal about it are nauseating. I especially hate when guys HAVE to be some kind of white knight and not let a girl handle difficult things on her own and just go overboard with chivalry.

20. Some girls dig it. Some guys dig heavy eyeliner. Some guys dig tongue piercing, some guys dig Uggs, some guys dig shorts. It's all subjective.

21. I quite like this guy, but most people hate him. What sayeth thou?


22. What's the point of high-heeled shoes? Is there any reason to them other than appearing taller?

21. You jerk

22. Some girls like the way they look. Otherwise, yeah, they make you look taller/your legs look better.

Ahhhhh. I enjoy being a girl.