Idk if I want to join the USAF anymore

[Future Raptor Ace]

Right now I'm in my bed just thinkng and I need the help my non judgemental online friends. My problem is you all know by now my dream of being a fighter pilot and all. I have just been thinking after all the work I'm doing for my engineering career is it really worth doing military. Also idk if I could live with killing someone, I can't even kill an efong bug, but I want to serve and protect my country and I really want to get my wings and be a fighter pilot. Also after my service with the military as an Aerospace Engineer should I work with the military designing new weapons and jets for them like I dreamed of doing or should I civillian and design jets for transportation or work for NASA and not be as happy as I would be working for the miltary. Also there's that and the civillian engineer out sourcing and lay offs so working with the military garentees me a job and it is what I want and will make me happy. The thing is morality again idk if I want tO make something used to kill. I keep telling myself it's to protect this country but idk anymore, though sometimes one has to fight, idk if I want my hands stained. I am really going back and forth on myself just thinking. Dream vs possible morality issues. Should I turn in my wings before I can even get them? Please help me guys and tell me what you think, I really need your help. Also since you guys don't really know me I trust you will give me a non bull shitted answer unlike my friends have. Thanks, yours truly POSSIBLEfuture raptor ace~. Btw sorry for typos, typedthis on iPod

[TheBarrett]

I know you hear this a thousand times.

However, it's important to trust your heart.
Acknowledge that war is a tearing of the Moral Soul and all the worst is possible, but you put yourself in that position because it is you representing your country in your own way.
If your heart finds contempt in defense, in being the fighter pilot, then follow it.
Not a single thing will blockade you from your heart's contempt, not even the death of a fellow man.

But if you find unrest in the concepts and details of the occupation.
Then I say take the time to think it over. The mind and the heart will not fulfill your personal happiness if they are conflicting.

[rj.bagby]

Just to throw in my 2 cents worth I spent 10 years in the army chemical corp as a nuclear, biological and chemical operation specialist. I helped plan for the worst crap you could imagine. To be part of planning to do inhuman things to people you don't even know really got to me. I became depressed and got out after 10 years and I was going to stay in 20. Heart wouldn't let me. But I did get to travel the world and met life long friends. I got to meet the enemy one time on the East German border through the fence. This soviet soldier held up this measuring tape and pulled it out about an inch. I asked my escort what he was trying to show me. He said that tape measure shows how much time he has left in the army and he is telling you he is happy to be getting out soon. Then we waved at each other and I think it was at that moment I wondered what the hell am I doing planning on killing these people who are just like us. Its a different world know. Think it over carefully. Good luck and god bless you whatever your decision. Rick

[djwise]

My dear friend, my only advice is to follow your heart. And you can protect & serve your country by doing numerous other things. But also make sure to think it over as well. Mind, heart, & Soul should be in some sort of accordance with each other. So take some time & think about it. If it helps, write it out. Talk it out. Even if it's to yourself. But take some time, do some soul-searching, and try & figure out where exactly your interests lie. And also know that what you're going through is pretty normal. I've known many people in college, no matter what field they're in or what they plan to do, who constantly change their minds. It'll take time, but you'll figure it out eventually.

Peace

[Chuck]

Future (?) Raptor Ace,

I hear you. I was in your place once, too, and also felt my conscience nagging at me. (But I was in the Army.) My humble opinion - keep at your studies and get the degree. Then you'll be free, and you can get a great job with lots of companies. Yes, the military offers "security", but your engineering degree will give you that in spades, plus a lot more pay, plenty of opportunities, and a lot more freedom. You could even buy your own jet someday - it's possible.

[One of my neighbors is an engineer who works (from home) for a French helicopter company. And he's pretty happy.]

The biggest issue you would probably find with the USAF is the conformity. Differences of opinion are suspected, not respected. And once you're in there, a "change of heart" won't get you out.

[Now I feel I've said too much. F.R.A., please also consider that I'm a big hippie peacenik now. My opinions could be considered extreme. I don't just think war is "deplorable", I think it's one of the stupidest, cruelest, and most wasteful things humans can engage in in this era. Especially when we're all facing a lot of bigger threats today, on a planetary level. I'm not worried about the Taliban, I'm worried that the bees are disappearing and the oceans are running out of fish. So call me crazy! ]

[btw, I'm pretty sure Barrett meant find your heart's "content", not "contempt". Sorry B, esp if I'm wrong here!] (^-^) - C.

EDIT - Shout-out to Rick (rj) above, too! You give a lot for two cents.

[Criss_pl]

Well.
Sometimes, it comes time when the decision, which influences one's life very much, or could even define whole lofe, have to be made.

Remember that you still have time to make that last decision: military career or not.
You said: "it's to protect this country". Being an aerospace engineer (civil) gives you the opportunity to do this. As an engineer you design, construct and maintain aircraft etc. It's very responsible work, becase you take care of safety of people. As people make the country, so actually, you are protecting your country, you make people feel safe.

Aerospace engineering offers you a wide range of possibilities after your studies. As Chuck stated, finish your studies, then you choose. You stiil can be a civil pilot. I know it's not the same what a military career, but it's an alternative.

I you don't feel that military is that what you really want to do in your life, consider something other. Doing a thing that you don't like, is one of the worst mistakes you could ever make.

I'm in a similar situation that you are, but I still have to choose my future studies. I consider Aerospace engineering, but also many other possibilites.

[Junkmale]

Difficult decision FRA and i don't envy the choice you have to make.
I remember being interviewed for a job many years ago and being asked this question (you might think that this is irrelevant, but i'll get to the point, honestly!!) -

'What would you do to encourage someone you know to join the Police?'

I thought for a moment and then answered - 'Nothing'
Why would i encourage a friend to put their life on the line for what? To be hated, to be spat upon, to come home to their family with their legs blown off to a community who don't care?
I'm obviously viewing this from a Northern Ireland perspective but i hope you get my drift?

The USAF i feel is similar. A very proud organisation with a history that matches very few others worldwide.
But...do you really want to be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan or whatever Godforsaken country the allies are at war with when you graduate?
I know it is a very controversial point and in no way do i mean to slur those that are serving there but will you be protecting your country by putting your life at risk there?
Think of the many who were wounded in Vietnam and Korea. Who cares about them now? They also put their lives on the line for what?
I'm not a peace loving pacifist but if i were you i would very carefully consider what you might be letting yourself in for.
Hope that makes sense?

[Future Raptor Ace]

Thanks guys...bleeh im still not sure
The reason why im asking this is I think my political veiws are shifting a bit (maybe cause im still maturing lolz) but I dont want to get into that and also if I am not doing aerospace with the military I am not sure I want to do aerospace at all therefore this might not be the right major for me which is why I kinda have to make a decision that I dont feel im mature and wise enough to make yet at nearly 20yrs old. For a long time I had this concrete plan of what I wanted to do, and now that little pieces are chipping off im kinda lost on the big picture now.
I mean I can tell myself and lie to myself that I am protecting my country which makes it right, but is it really that? Whose to say that makes me a bad person and its wrong to do..........girr i just don't know anymore.
Life is tough and I can finally see that now.

[Deepwaters]

Just to add another thing.

It goes a little beyond the question of whether killing is justifiable in defense of your country. (My personal opinion, FWIW, on that: yes. But a hardcore pacifist, which I'm not, would disagree.) There's also the fact that when you join the military, you give up your right to decide for yourself whether killing is justified, except when you are given an order that crosses that rather different line into the "unlawful" zone.

If you're sent with your fighter plane to go shoot up people that Congress and the president say are our enemies, would you trust their judgment that these people really are or ought to be our enemies? It's been a long time since any foreign country's military forces had the balls to attack the U.S. The last time it happened was before I was born, let alone you. (Pearl Harbor in 1941, of course.) So it's been a bit of a stretch to say that the wars we've fought since World War II have been "defending" the United States. Mostly, they've been projecting American power abroad when there was no direct threat at all, either for ideological reasons, or to honor treaty commitments, or to help American corporations make more money.

Judging from your previous posts, you most likely didn't vote for the current president. Would you want to give Mr. Obama the authority to decide for you whether you will kill someone? At this moment, the authority is yours. Once you join the military, it belongs to the chain of command, culminating in the President of the United States, Barack Obama.

As much as I believe that defending one's country and risking one's life to do so is honorable and sometimes necessary, I know that I could never join the military unless the nation was actually threatened and I felt my duty called. That has never happened in my lifetime. Although I do believe there are circumstances in which killing another person is justified, I also believe that I must be the one to make that decision, and cannot surrender it into the hands of another for a period of years.

But that's me. You have to make your own decision and, as people here have already said, go by your own heart.

[Ruroshen]

Just a quick, pre-emptive reminder guys: religion and politics are the two topics expressly verboten here. I understand that everybody's trying to help FRA with what's obviously a very difficult decision, but let's not go down a road that will lead to the thread being locked, OK?