A Question of Etiquette

[Deepwaters]

What would you do if you were visiting Paris, and as you were walking along, you picked up a scrap of paper from the sidewalk. Opening it up, you found that it had Alizée's name, phone number, and email address. Nothing else. The handwriting looks like hers.

Let's assume the contact info was real. Maybe she wrote it down and gave it to someone for business purposes, and that person lost it.

Would you attempt to contact her?

Here's another scenario. Alizée comes on this forum, creates an identity, and posts some things. From clues, you figure out who she is. Do you PM her and try to strike up a conversation?

I have thoughts on these questions, but I'll let others answer first.

[Drake498]

Q1: first, would know its real? like even if it was real, would you know it? so i'd assume you try to see if its real by contacting the numbers

Q2: idk how you would substantiate enough info to comfirm its Alizée but if you somehow did, i would prolly just PM her about how i love her music (ie. just fanmail)

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by Drake498

Q1: first, would know its real? like even it it was real, would you know it? so i'd assume you try to see if its real by contacting the numbers

No, I wouldn't. You're right that I would have no way to be sure it was real, but:

If it IS real, then contacting her would be an invasion of privacy. She didn't GIVE me that information, I just found it lying around. I don't have permission to use it.

If it's NOT real, then trying to use the contact information would serve no purpose.

So either it would be wrong to use it, or it would be pointless.

Q2: idk how you would substantiate enough info to comfirm its Alizée but if you somehow did, i would prolly just PM her about how i love her music (ie. just fanmail)

Here again, I disagree. It's not as much an invasion of privacy as calling or emailing, but she would have created the identity in order to post anonymously. To PM her would blow that game. It would be OK to PM her as if PMing her made-up identity, if I had some reason to do that, but not openly as if PMing Alizée.

If I know she's reading this forum, I have an easy way to tell her how much I love her music: just post something; she'll have a chance to read it.

Again, it's a matter of permission. If she wanted to reveal who she was, or if she knew I knew, then a conversation is hers to initiate, not mine. Otherwise, it's simple courtesy and respect to leave her mask in place even if I know who's face is wearing it.

[Drake498]

ok well...
Q1: i guess curiosity killed me
Q2: excuse my bold behavior in my previous answer but thats how I am, and it's not like i'm announcing it so i dont reasonably see a big problem with it. Beside's i dont wear a mask... be who you are, and as far as i know, Alizée likes to be herself

another thought, Alizée loves her fans, i dont think she'd try to fool us? idk just a thought

[lefty12357]

Q1: I would NOT contact her if she didn't give it to me. I would destroy the paper with her info on it.

Q2: I would PM her and try to strike up a conversation, but I would never let on that I knew who she was. I would leave it up to her to tell me if she wanted to.

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by Drake498

another thought, Alizée loves her fans, i dont think she'd try to fool us? idk just a thought

Well, she might. Not in a bad way, but if she were to openly post something as herself, the dynamic would be totally different than if she pretended to be someone else. The someone else might be able to say something and have it be paid attention to that Alizée as herself couldn't. Nothing malicious about it.

For example, suppose she wanted to say something about how you should behave if you were to meet her. Maybe she's been approached by people who behaved badly and hurt her feelings (actually there's no "maybe" about that, I'm SURE it's happened). If she were to log on here, or to one of the other fan sites, as herself and say something about that, it would come across rather whiny and bitchy, don't you think? Like she was complaining. But it's still a point to be made.

Which I guess is why I'm making it. (And no, I'm not Alizée. )

What's got me thinking this way is that there's a special burden of courtesy when you're dealing with someone famous. It's a weird, lopsided relationship, because you're a stranger to her, but she's in some ways not a stranger to you -- you know a lot about her, but she knows nothing about you. So it can feel like you're approaching a friend. But you're really not, and you always have to be aware of that.

And yet the question kind of cuts both ways. Where do you draw the line between courtesy and coldness? How do you avoid being a pest, without actually pushing her away? It's not easy to answer.

I think Lefty has good answers.

[Rocket]

1. No! Even if it was real, there is no need for you to contact her. Put it in a scrapbook to show your grandchildren.

2. No! If she is incognito, she has her reasons for doing so. I would honor her request and not let her know that I know.

[Suitor]

1.Maybe..because it wouldn't be invasion of privacy if you just called once and with good targets and plus you would have used a chance that is one per lifetime. I don't see anything wrong in both ways..other thing is when that paper gets in wrong hands..
2.That doesn't permit to talk to her as with an ordinary member.
edit: tb not permit but forbid.

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by Suitor

2.That doesn't permit to talk to her as with an ordinary member.

Sure it does. You could send her a PM any time, pretending you had no clue about her "secret identity." Just like you would anyone else. But it's also kind of important to ask yourself whether you WOULD be PMing her if you DIDN'T know. Has anything come up that calls for a PM?

As for the first, I simply disagree. Everyone is entitled to privacy. I guess if you found that piece of paper, you could conceivably call to see if she wanted it back, but hey. You know, and I know, and everyone knows that that's not the real reason you would be calling.

I'm with Rocket on this one, completely. It's so easy to forget that we deal with a human being, because it's hard for most of us to put ourselves in her place. We can't imagine being in her place, so she becomes non-human. That's just wrong.

[OGRE]

Q1: No.
Q2: No.