Funny Stories

AmericanFan · #1 10-25-2007, 04:57 AM

Back in the dark ages when personal computers were still in their infancy, we were forced to build our own if we wanted one. Since they didn’t really exist yet it wasn’t like we could run to the store and buy one. The best of that era were based on the Intel 8088 processors and had as much as 1mb of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[IMG]http://moi-alizee.us/forums/ /><st1:stockticker>RAM</st1:stockticker>! Mine was so sophisticated that I not only had dual 5.25” floppy drives but a huge 10MB hard drive! I thought I could never fill it up. Over time I replaced my green monochrome monitor with <st1:stockticker>RGB</st1:stockticker> color and my 300 bps acoustical modem with a smokin’ fast 1200bps. Believe it or not, many of my friends were jealous! My cast metal keyboard was later replaced with a more modern plastic one.
<st1:stockticker>RAM</st1:stockticker>! Mine was so sophisticated that I not only had dual 5.25” floppy drives but a huge 10MB hard drive! I thought I could never fill it up. Over time I replaced my green monochrome monitor with <st1:stockticker>RGB</st1:stockticker> color and my 300 bps acoustical modem with a smokin’ fast 1200bps. Believe it or not, many of my friends were jealous! My cast metal keyboard was later replaced with a more modern plastic one.
By the time I had all of these wonderful upgrades <st1:stockticker>IBM</st1:stockticker> was introducing their first PC and software was becoming available.
Obviously this was long before Al Gore invented the Internet but we had something close. It was the BBS or Bulletin Board System. The best software available at the time was called Wildcat. The host computer (at some geek’s house) would be connected to the telephone line and we could connect to it (usually one at a time) and upload or download files and messages.
We didn’t have much for graphics yet. Most graphics were merely letters grouped together in patterns to form crude pictures. It was all text based stuff.
There was also a crude chat feature where the person connecting could chat with the owner of the host computer. All it did was connect both computers so that the screens and keyboards worked in tandem. Either keyboard could manipulate the text on both screens at the same time. The intent was to carry on a conversation by typing, and then hitting enter twice to leave a gap so the other person knew you were finished and they could respond.
My friend “Chuck” set his computer up as a host. One night around <st1:time Minute="0" Hour="3">3:00 am</st1:time> we got into a chat together and he was telling me how fed-up he was with society and that he was temped to sell off everything and he and his family could move to the middle of nowhere and live like “The Wilderness Family”. (A new movie at the time.)
Chuck typed incredibly slow. He rarely looked at the screen as he searched for each letter on his keyboard. Chuck insisted that capitol letters, punctuation and grammar had to be perfect. So… to combat boredom every once in a while I would backspace or change a letter so it looked as if he made a mistake. Once he saw an error, he would delete all the letters in front of the mistake and rewrite the entire line. I was having a great time!
I quickly tired of that and when he would start a new line, I’d let him type a few words then type like crazy while at the same time deleting his letters. The end result would be a perfect line of text that had little or nothing to do with what he was trying to say.
He got wise to my antics and started typing as if he was sending a Telegram using abbreviations whenever possible.
He went on to explain that he wanted to be at least 100 miles form anyone where he could build a log cabin and live off the land.
I responded with a similar experience of my own previous adventures doing almost exactly what he was describing. I explained that it isn’t nearly as wonderful as he imagines it would be. I said there are certain things that we have that we take for granted that he would surely miss.
Not believing me he asked… “Like what?”
So I said “Like toilet paper! How many cases of toilet paper can you pack in, on your back, 100+ miles from town?”
By now he is extremely frustrated with my antics. He tried to say his plan was to have supplies flown in at regular intervals but he typed… “No! Helicopters!”
So I said… “I’m sorry Chuck but there is no way in hell you could ever talk me into wiping my @$$ with a helicopter!”
No response… I wait a minute or so and still no response. I check my connection and everything is fine so I’m starting to think I totally pissed him off and he is on his way over to beat the snot out of me.
About the time I’m ready to get up and lock my door text starts rolling across my screen… it says… “Hi this is Lori (Chuck’s wife) there was a loud crash that woke me up and I rushed in here to see what happened. Chuck is on the floor, laughing and pointing at the screen. He can’t talk yet but will be back soon. I’m going back to bed.”
OK, I’m relieved. Chuck isn’t going to kill me after all. After like a year and a half he types… “Rotor rash!” Then goes on to explain how he had this vivid image in his mind of me… bent over with my pants around my ankles cautiously backing up to a helicopter. “Wop wop wop.”
Well, that did it for me, then I started laughing. That started my dog barking etc. Rather than disturb two entire neighborhoods with our high tech toys we quit talking late at night.
That was a hundred years ago and that picture is still clearly in my mind. It still makes me laugh too.

marik · #2 10-25-2007, 05:19 AM

lol a 1MB Intel? lol! and a 10MB Huge Floppy! lol funny story AF

:P

Capn · #3 10-25-2007, 05:34 AM

wow thats crazy my first pc wasn't that bad but in my eyes is still ridiculous with its 16 mb graphics card 28k modem and 2 gig harddrive I still have it somewhere hm.

The Cap · #4 10-25-2007, 06:54 AM

My first "real" computer was a Commodore VIC-20.

It was a color computer ... if you call 16 colors at a time "color".

Three "voices" for sound - basically three sine-wave generators, but you could "tune" them to play music ... sort of.

Massive 8KB of RAM memory. But wait, don't get too excited ... 5.5KB of that 8KB was used by the built-in operating system, so you had 3.5KB left in which to program. Yes, that's 3,584 bytes of memory, stretching out into the distance as far as the eye could see ... provided you couldn't see very far, that is.

I also had a lightning fast 300 baud modem, an Atari 2600 joystick that was compatible with the VIC-20 game controller port, and a very expensive 8KB expansion cartridge, which brought the amount of usable RAM memory all the way up to 11,776 bytes.

Initially, programs were stores on a cassette drive, using regular old ordinary audio cassettes. Later, my Dad paid a few hundred dollars for an external floppy drive which held 170KB of data and, since it was made by a 3rd party rather than Commodore, it was built (and weighed) like a tank - all steel construction. Massive.

I learned BASIC on that box, and then programmed the 6502 CPU using machine and assembly languages.

Ah ... those were, indeed, the days.

AmericanFan · #5 10-25-2007, 08:11 AM

LOL, If you read my story carefully you will note that I never said it was my first computer. The first, built on the same 8088 processor has a whopping 256k of Ram. The only storage was a single 8" floppy drive. I owned two disks for it! One contained the operating system. No modem at all and a monochrome monitor with green text. The case was made of plywood. I didn't own a real keyboard so I made a membrane type for it. Sometimes it even worked!
This was prior to Microsoft's acquisition of "DOS" but many of us had it before Gates did. It was distributed for free back then. Actually it remained to be freely distributed long after he bought it. LOL
I still have collection of my computers as they evolved. These include one of the first IBM PC (prior to the XT model) and a 80286 AT model, a 386 and a 486. Complete with books & software. I'm sure everything still works. Maybe someday someone will come along and want them for a museum or other useful purpose.
It won't be long before what we are using now is considered a joke.

fsquared · #6 10-25-2007, 12:54 PM

I remember my first modem. It was an Apple II internal card modem. That was right after it, like, became legal to actually connect your own equipment directly to the phone lines with an RJ-11 rather than using an acoustic coupler (anyone remember those, where you had to place a standard round-ended handset in the coupler to run the modem)? It had a switch for low-speed/high-speed. High-speed was 300 baud.

.

I also one time slapped an old external modem onto an ancient VT100 terminal, and I surfed the web with it (using lynx). That modem had a "high-speed" switch too; that one was 1200 baud luckily.

Edcognito · #7 10-25-2007, 04:31 PM

TRS-80 was my first computer (Trash-80) from Radio Shack. We used to play "Nuclear War" - +/- filled the screen to form continents, and it ran off of a 5.25 " disk............

"Kampfgruppe" was my first "store" bought game....

THANK GOD for progress!

Ed

Bud10 · #8 10-26-2007, 03:42 PM

lol, I remember my first computer had like a 14 mb HDD, like 1mb of RAM, it also had the big floppy disk drive in it

Funny how far we advanced. From computers taking up whole warehouses to fitting in the palm of our hands. HDD from starting out to 10 mb and we can now have 1gb Flash drives no bigger then our fingers.