The Wind and the Lily

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by rcs

Deepwater,

You are great. The only way I can see you having writer's block would be because of watching Alizee videos...

That's what broke the block. What caused it was a woman who broke my heart. What cured it was another woman who healed my heart, without even knowing me! Amazing.

[NYMedStudent]

I really liked the first three stanzas. You should have stopped there? Seems like the poem starts to become about you there and not the lily.

[Deepwaters]

It's about me and the lily; the fifth stanza returns to her. All poetry is personal.

Edit: I can certainly understand that you'd be more into the lily, though. She's much prettier than I am.

[Edcognito]

Yeah.

What you said.

Great.

I just wish i was better with words, because that was beautiful, or should i say that was "Lili"?.......


Ed

[I <3 Zombies]

That was uber... really really uber

[SupaKrupa]

Oh, I thought I already told you how awesome that was. Must've been a dream! <-- Now that really shows how awesome it is if I'm dreaming it!

On a more serious note, I love how it connotates all aspects of Lili. The last stanza is rather optomistic to me

Brilliantly written. Love it all.

[BlancZulu]

The Ponderings of a Changed Fan

When you were far away
and our souls hard to change,
you left the words inside our haerts,
the phantom whisper that bound and broke us...
You blew away the walls of tear and ash -
and everything changed

Even if the memories are left
under a milepost on my road:
the pictures in my haert
will always be coloured by you!

But untill my road ends
and your footprints are drowned
by the crying clouds above
I will wait on your return.
For you are the blood coursing my veins,
the wind dancing with my soul,
the tear running down my cheek...

Thanks to the Trade Wind

It is really hard to write in a langauge other than one's own! I think i'll start reading dictionaries from now on

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by BlancZulu

It is really hard to write in a langauge other than one's own!

Well, that was a pretty good shot at it!

Hey, maybe we can turn this thread into a "post your poem" thing.

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by SupaKrupa

On a more serious note, I love how it connotates all aspects of Lili. The last stanza is rather optomistic to me

Hee hee. From a fans' POV, yeah, it is. Means she's coming back to us.

What I was doing with the whole thing was touching on what I've sensed in Alizée, something bigger than just the on-paper details. Playing on the name and nickname, of course; Lili the person living her life within the context of Alizée the phenomenon, how difficult that must be. The fourth stanza, where I went first-person, deals with the fact that, if I just deal with the on-paper details, this is not like me. I'm not fan material. I don't do this. I do know why it's happening, but it's more than just the music or the performance or anything immediately visible. There's a power in her, something perhaps more benign than I made the "wind" in the poem, but just as overwhelming.

Brilliantly written. Love it all.

Thank you very much. I really do feel as if I've come back from the dead. Nice to hear that Lazarus still breathes.

[Deepwaters]

Current Events
(An almost-sonnet)

I wake up, yet again, at half-past one:
It's dark here, but through you I see the sun.
A game of hide-and-seek, the prize a song.
You hid it with great skill, but not for long.

I found it while you slept – but felt ashamed,
It was for a surprise, I spoiled the game.
It's been a whole year since you promised, "soon,"
And still it seems as distant as the moon,

But keep the secrets, I will seek no more,
And nurse my patience on this distant shore.
I owe the mind that healed me nothing less,
And it's a small request, this I confess.

All well: and yet I ponder this strange thing.
Why is it that I cannot hear you sing?