Girls WTF; all of them are the same! - Page 8

wasabi622 · #71 05-29-2009, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

Accept the challenges that life throws at U, test your worth and redefine yourself to become a better men or women. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful, embrace life as it comes with it's ups and downs and learn to make the best out of everything. Most importantly have a good sense of humor, have fun & enjoy yourself !! And with this in mind here's a little something that a friend send me as a joke of course~.

MEN RULES:

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules: Please note these are all numbered '1' on purpose !!  

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.  

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.  

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.  1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.  

1. Crying is blackmail !!

  1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work !! strong hints do not work !! obvious hints do not work! Just say it !!  

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.  

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.  

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.  

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.  

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us...  

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

  1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.  

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.  

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.  

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.  

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.  

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.  

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.  

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.  

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.  

1. You have enough clothes.  1. You have too many shoes.  

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.  

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.  

holy crap jess!
you've basically found like... the reverse man laws.

nice.

Future Raptor Ace · #72 05-29-2009, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edcognito

I always find the good threads last... FRA - Hope all is going better for you. Remember, its not the amount of thread that makes a great blanket, its the quality of the construction... Wait until you find someone that complements you, and you will both be stronger...

My wife and I got this the other day in the e-mail... She told me it was ok for me to think its funny...

Gave up on both "a long time ago"? O.o Dude, according to your online profile, your 18! How long is "a long time ago"?

Ed

Thanks man, I'm trying to block it from my mind and you guys are helping by making me laugh and all so thanks!

Long time ago = one week

AceTone · #73 05-30-2009, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

Accept the challenges that life throws at U, test your worth and redefine yourself to become a better men or women. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful, embrace life as it comes with it's ups and downs and learn to make the best out of everything. Most importantly have a good sense of humor, have fun & enjoy yourself !! And with this in mind here's a little something that a friend send me as a joke of course~.

MEN RULES:

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules: Please note these are all numbered '1' on purpose !!  

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.  

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.  

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.  1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.  

1. Crying is blackmail !!

  1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work !! strong hints do not work !! obvious hints do not work! Just say it !!  

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.  

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.  

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.  

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.  

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us...  

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

  1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.  

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.  

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.  

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.  

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.  

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.  

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.  

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.  

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.  

1. You have enough clothes.  1. You have too many shoes.  

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.  

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, its like camping.  

I really agree with #1.